SaladLover goes gambling

It was a cold October night, 3 days before Halloween and a man found himself needing money to fund the candy bowl, or else he would face his home getting egged and toilet papered by the biggest threat he's ever faced. 11 years olds. Standing before his home, a 2 story 3 bed 2 bath suburban house, only one thought of where he could get some money to allow him to keep his house in perfect condition after Halloween struck him. The casino. Looking at his imaginary wife and kids, and then his French bulldog (the only one of them who is real.) he tells them 1 single promise. "There's gonna be hookers and blackjack this time." And with that he gets into his car and starts heading to Vegas, the city that never sleeps. He plans his journey and realises something, it's a 1 day drive to Vegas, and with 3 days til Halloween that means he only has 1 day to gamble.

The man starts driving, exactly 2 miles per hour over the speed limit, because he's simply far too cool to listen to the rules of the road. That is until he crosses over into Colorado and gets pulled over for speeding. The police officer approaches his window and taps on the glass. "Sir I'm going to need your license and registration please, as you were speeding."

The man laughs, pulling his sunglasses down over his eyes. "All you need to know, is that I'm the SaladLover!" And with that SaladLover speeds off, now going 4 miles per hour over the speed limit, out speeding the police who were only going a measly 2 miles per hour over the limit. The sun sets as SaladLover is halfway through Uta, so he pulls over at a motel, using his American Express platinum to purchase a room, (which cost more than the candy he needed for Halloween.) But as he walks to his room he gets approached my an escort wearing a scantily clad outfit. "OI! I'll show you a nice time for a tener and an Indian!"

SaladLover scoffs at the women's offer and tells her, once again pulling his sunglasses down, (despite it being night.) "Not right now women of the night, I have salad to munch." And with that he walks past the women and enters his room, settling down and looking at the salad he packed for the drive, staring longingly at it as he slowly unclips the lunch box. His mouth waters as he gently pricks the salad with a spork he acquired from the motel room's kitchen, he gently raises the salad to his mouth and slowly, bite by bite, truly enjoys his salad, for he is The SaladLover.

Morning raises, SaladLover had risen 13 minutes before it, awaiting its rise so he may continue the final stretch of his journey to Vegas, as he climbs into the driver seat of the 1980 Cadillac convertible Salad remembers why he's doing this, why he must go gambling. To save his house form the egging and toilet papering of the evil despicable 11 year olds.

Saladlover finishes driving through Uta and enters Nevada, the final stretch before Vegas begins. He speeds up even more, breaching 5 miles over the speed limit. He enters a swift police chase but is able to lose them as their police cars can't go faster than 4 miles over the speed limit, allowing Saladlover to clear them and make it to Vegas. The city that never sleeps.

He checks his watch, he has exactly 13 hours to gamble if he wants to make it home in time. He imagines his fake wife, fake kids, and finally his French bulldog. Remembering what's at stake Saladlover heads into the first casino he plans on hitting. He walks over to the place where he can get gambling chips, hands over his American Express platinum. "Pass me 5 grand of chips will you?" The hostess looks surprised at how much he wants and quickly hands over the asked chips.

Salad approaches the blackjack table and lays down 500 dollars in chips, the dealer smirks, it was as Salad expected. The deck is rigged, but something as simple as a rigged deck wouldn't stop Salad lover. He then proceeded to lose a total of 3 grand playing blackjack. Salad looks at his remaining chips and makes a decision.

Approaching the long table with 5 players on each side Salad sat down on the 3rd seat on the left. He gets delt 2 cards, and immediately gets a pair of 8. He smirks, knowing this round was in the bag, and bet 200 dollars. 6 players met his bet. Raising the pot to 1400 dollars. The dealer revealed the first 3 cards, the Salad sees it, a 3rd 8. His eyes go wide with excitement as loses his poker face, but only for a moment. He corrects himself and raises another 500. 3 players match his bet. Raising the total pot to 3400. Then it happens, the final cards are revealed, the king and queen of spades. Everyone reveals their hands and it happens. Saladlover wins. Raising his total chips to 4700 dollars. Salad smirks, he only needs to double his money 1 more time then he can go home. So he walks over the roulette table, placing all his money on odd.

The dealer spins the roulette, he watches the ball, thirteen, six, eight, seven, five, eighty five, then finally. Nine. Salad grins wide as he walks away from the casino with nine thousand, four hundred dollars. He climbs into his car and drives at a leisurely pace home, going exactly 1 mile per hour under the limit.

As he drives home Salad stops off at a dollar tree, he walks in and clears out the entire candy isle, guaranteeing a Halloween safe from those evil 11 year olds. As he approaches home Salad smiles happy with himself. Pulling into his driveway he drops to knees, hugging his dog as he unloads the crate of candy out of his 1980 Cadillac converter.

He sets up the candy next to his door guaranteeing he'll be prepared for them, and with that Salad lover survives Halloween.