Broken

Broken Part 8

Richard

The office was quiet except for the hum of the vacuum cleaner in the hall. The sound brought back a memory that still aroused him despite his sensibility. If only he had walked away that night. There was no use in worrying about that now. Meghan would never say a word to Alice. His phone pinged. Speak of the devil, he thought. No transfer this month??? Home with baby now. Please send asap. Rent due. Confused he logged into his online banking site and checked. There were ample funds in both accounts. He texted back: Will look into it. Hope everyone is doing well. He had resisted the urge to visit the hospital to avoid questions, as he was very well known in the city. Yes, she had been a past employee, but he had also fired her. A visit to see her new baby wouldn't have exactly added up. She had texted him a picture last week. The small face was contorted into a half grin, a shock of red hair covering his tiny head. Funny, as neither of them had red hair. He made another mental note to order a paternity test as he packed up his briefcase and headed to the door. He arrived home to find Alice humming away in the kitchen. He came behind her, wrapping his arms around her in tight hug. His eyes settled on her tummy. "How's my family." She smiled wide. "Oh we had the best day ever daddy! We shopped and visited with Aunt Jess. Wait until you see the stuff we bought!" She watched him intently as he sifted through the bag she handed him. He pulled out the receipt and eyed the total. "Alice, you spent the equivalent to our mortgage payment in one store! "Alice pouted. "But sweetie, you told me we had nothing to worry about. You are doing well at the firm right? If something is wrong you need to tell me." Desperate to avoid any speculation he smiled and handed her back the bag. "Everything's fine my love, but I want to start putting aside money for our little man's future. That is more important than toys and clothes, is it not?" He was trying with all his might to hide his contempt for her. Alice nodded. "Of course. Now sit down. I have prepared a supper fit for a king. Lobster with a caviar and garlic butter aioli and this!" She presented an expensive bottle of iced wine with a flourish. "Remember when we tasted this in Germany? Well I found it here today. Isn't that amazing?" He swallowed hard, suddenly desperate for a drink. She urged him to sit and eat, although he found it hard to enjoy the meal. His mind was a whirling mess of things that needed covering up, things that needed tending to. Had he ensured privacy on the new bank account? Would Alice ever think to go looking? He doubted it. She was far too engrossed in preparing for the baby to go snooping at this point. He managed to muscle down half his dinner before excusing himself from the table. "Everything all right Rich? You seem a bit off tonight." He stood to retreat to his study, phone protectively pressed to his chest as another text alert sounded. "I, uhm....need to get some work done. It was a lovely dinner Alice. Thank you." He smiled weakly at her and made his way down the hall. He wondered if it was too late to contact someone at the bank to confirm the security of his new account. He also wondered what would happen when Nathan was old enough to start asking about him. Would Meghan want him to be present in his son's life then? Surely Alice would leave him if it came out that he had been lying to her for years. By midnight he had worried his way through all his concerns and managed to get some work done as well. He quietly padded up to bed, hoping not to wake Alice. He washed up in the bathroom then undressed in the dark. Once in bed he reached his arm around his very pregnant wife, wanting nothing more than the comfort of her presence in his life. He wished she could tell him everything was going to be ok – that she would forgive him anything, but he knew better. He leaned in to sniff the familiar coconut scent of her hair and she stiffened. "Are you awake love?" He whispered into the dark. Unable to fall to sleep he turned onto his back, acutely aware of the silence. Wondering what their life would look like a year, he feel into a restless sleep.

 Meghan   

"Please turn down the music." She snarled in a shouted whisper. She was in the nursery with the baby and Flo was making dinner with an old Big Shiny Tunes CD on what sounded like full blast in the kitchen. Normally Meghan would have found this cute and went out to join her for a head bashing session while their dinner cooked but Nathan had just fallen asleep in her arms. He only ever fell asleep in her arms. Meghan knew it should have been an honor, something to be proud of, but the feeling of tiredness and burden crept into moments like these. She was embarrassed to admit it to anyone else, even Flo. Her Mother had visited only once since they came home from the hospital last week and had spent more time lecturing Meghan on what she was doing wrong than she did helping with the baby. "What was her problem?" Flo snorted after they closed the door behind her mother. "Well at least she had suggestions for how to stop the crying." Meghan snapped back without meaning to. Flo had been great to make the meals but always tried to avoid the baby related tasks. Just this morning she had handed Meghan the baby like a football when his diaper needed changing. "I'm sorry" she said for the fifth time this week. "I'm just so grossed out by it. I promise I'll do one soon." Meghan felt like she was the only one in the apartment who had grown up since Nathan's birth, and even she didn't feel ready. She heard the music turn down to a barely audible level in the kitchen and she felt her shoulders relax. She closed her eyes as she rocked back and forth in the glider chair that had been a gift from her mother. She did a quick mental calculation of the bills that needed to be paid this week and then a tally of what was left in her account. There was no way she could cover it all. Just then Flo appeared with a kitchen cloth slung over her shoulder. "Dinner's almost ready." Meghan smiled. "Thanks babe. I'll be out in a sec." Before Flo turned to leave, she continued. "Hey – do you think you'd be able to get apart-time job soon? I know we talked about it before but we really need more money, like now." Flo sighed. "What about the money from Richard? That was supposed to be enough with your government money to cover everything. You know me and jobs Meg – we just don't mesh." Meghan felt her cheeks turn red. "Do you think I'm meshing well with motherhood? Do you think I want to be living on four hours sleep a night? Does it look like I'm having fun?" Her voice broke on the last word and she began to cry. "Hey, I told you I would be here for you didn't I? I clean the apartment and cook for you every day don't I?" Meghan didn't respond. "I guess that's not enough for you Meg. Who's going to do all those things if I have to get a job? You're such a fucking zombie these days. I wouldn't even trust you to be home with the baby alone." That sent Meghan over the edge. "You have got to kidding me!" She shouted, waking the baby. She set him in his crib despite his wailing and followed Flo out of the room. "Don't walk away from me. We are not done here!" Flo turned off  the boiler and stove and went to the coat closet, searching frantically for her jacket. "I need some air." Meghan laughed in her face, blocking the way to the door. "What about me? When do I get some air?" Flo looked frightened for a second before pushing Meghan aside and reaching for the doorknob. "You need some help." With that she was gone. Reluctantly she turned back inside, greeted by the sound of a desperate wailing Nathan.