Fading love
Ryanne threw his keys on the little table near the front door and sighed. Tonight, without Laika's comforting hum-ming coming from the kitchen, the flat felt empty. After a demanding workweek, she had texted earlier to say she was going out for drinks with coworkers. A part of him wanted to go with her, to be in her reassuring presence. However, of late, their conversations have been tense, with an underlying fear looming over their collapsing habits.
Ryanne's gaze drifted across the living room's strewn relics of joyful moments: an image from their summer beach trip, and art pieces Laika had picked out to add some colour to the otherwise boring walls. That was when he'd been so sure that having her at his side in this small area would be enough. Doubt now germinated in unexpected places due to uncertainty.
Ryanne's eyes strayed over the living room's scattered mementos of happy times: a picture from their beach vacation in the summer and artwork Laika had chosen to liven up the usually monochromatic walls. At that moment, he was confident that having her at his side in this cramped space would suffice. Uncertainty now caused doubt to sprout up in unlikely places.
Though he was afraid of the answer, he said softly, "How was your night?" She gave a noncommittal shrug.
It was alright. Sara greets you.
As they circled each other, two planets thrown out of their alignment, an uneasy quiet fell. Scratching the back of his neck, Ryanne struggled to find the appropriate words.
"Laika, would you mind having a conversation? I'm missing you."
She glanced aside and pinched her lips into a thin line, busily rearranging books on the shelf.
"Ryanne, what more can I say? You choose what to do."
He stood up and nervously crossed the room. "I am aware of your anger. But this is really significant for my career.
She yelled, "Don't," turning to face him and her eyes reddening.
"It appears like all that matters to you these days is your profession. Ryanne, what about us? What about our future ambitions and the life we have created here?"
He responded haltingly, clutching at the one straw that was still holding them together, "I thought you backed me in this."
"I didn't say I had to like it; I just said I'd support you!" Laika sobbed, her voice quivering.
"However, you never spoke to me and never gave any thought to how it might feel to be abandoned. This connection has lost all meaning for you."
Ryanne's heart tightened at the visible anguish and agony he had caused her to feel. He attempted to explain, reaching for her hand.
"That's not accurate, um. Yes, I do adore you; I'm just..."
She pulled away, her tears coming easily now.
"You wouldn't keep excluding me if you truly loved me. Ryanne, we're strangers. I'm out of time to complete this."
Laika didn't say anything more before grabbing her bag and running out the front door, leaving him broken behind her.
Their ragged breaths and unspoken words reverberated hollowly throughout the flat. Ryanne finally allowed himself to face a horrifying reality: he was losing the basis of his own universe, and the only person he had to blame was himself. He sank to the ground, burying his face in his hands as he puzzled over how they had sailed towards an unknowable land so quickly.
Ryanne awoke the following morning to see Laika was still absent. Where his heart had been, there was only a searing agony since her overnight bag had disappeared too. His fingers shaking, he reached for his phone and tapped out a frantic message.
Come home, please, "Laika. I apologise sincerely. I cherish you."
His life was falling apart, yet the city continued to move on without acknowledging it for hours. The feeling of loneliness bit deep into his being, serving as a painful reminder that those who provide us with stability might go at any time. Ryanne allowed himself to experience fear for the first time since taking the job.
