MAGNET FOR PIECES (REPEATEDLY) ╱ MADDIE BUCKLEY

001

If Sutton knew then what she knew now, her love life—and life in general—would've been in much better shape. But she wasn't a time traveler, she was living in the present, and learning that much information all in one go would have made her go into a state of shock.

So we should probably back up a bit.

July 2019

As far as Sutton knew, everyone was bound to have a major flaw. It was a flaw so tragic that it outweighed all of the other ones. And as shitty as it was, it was intrinsic. It was nature. It wasn't great that these flaws existed, but they were what made (some) people human.

    Sutton's unfortunate major flaw was that she was a hopeless romantic. But on top of that, she had the tendency to be a fixer-upper. She wanted to fix things, she wanted to fix people. She wanted to be considered dependable by her boyfriends whenever they came to her with a problem (that they actually had no intention to repair, they just wanted to complain to her because they knew she'd listen.) And when Sutton launched into her fixer-upper mode, they all froze up and found a lame excuse to run away. She, thankfully, was smart enough to know it actually had nothing to do with her. However, she couldn't help feeling as though she had some sort of mildly offputting demeanor that put most men on edge.

    Which was why she figured it was time to leave Orange County and start fresh closer to Los Angeles. Sure, it was only an hour's drive, but it'd give her a chance to go for a dip in a different pool.

    "Do you really have to go?" Imogen asked, sitting on the edge of Sutton's bed as she watched her older sister pack her bags. "There are perfectly good fire stations here for you to work in."

    "Yeah, Immy, I have to." Sutton held up a shirt to the light of her window before folding it and tossing it into her duffel with a plop. "I need a change of scenery. Don't you like the thought of being a pseudo only child?"

    "You're driving an hour out of Orange County. You'll still be in California. You do know that, right?" Imogen raised her eyebrow to give Sutton a duh look, electing to ignore the only child comment. "What's there to look at besides the increase in light pollution? Think of the traffic! Do you know how embarrassing it would be to be in a fire engine and stuck in rush hour?"

    Sutton rolled her eyes and continued folding. "I need a fresh start. Although I don't think you would know much about that since you're only fifteen, chica."

    Imogen flopped back-first onto Sutton's bed and let out an indignant huff. "I just don't get why you have to move."

    Slowly, Sutton stopped folding her jeans and put them down, sighing before sitting on the edge of her bed near Imogen's head. "Because you're getting older and there's gonna come a day where you'll need your space and you won't need me."

    Imogen looked at her sister. "You're my sister. I'm always gonna need you."

    "You know there's gonna be a room for you whenever you wanna visit. Once you take your driver's test, you'll be able to drive that hour to see me."

    "And eventually move in with you, right?" Imogen sat up at the thought, excited about the prospect. "I mean, I gotta start thinking about college soon, and UCLA doesn't seem that far." Imogen got quiet then, picking at her fingernails. "I don't wanna live here anymore, Suds."

    There it was. The reason.

    Sutton ran a hand through Imogen's hair, it was starting to get a little light at the roots, and it would be the last time Sutton would be helping her touch them up. "I know Mom's been unfair, and I don't want to tell you that you have to suck it up, so I won't, but it also won't help if I encourage you to run away from your problems. So you're gonna be top of your class, and sooner or later, it'll be over before you know it."

    "It sure sounds like a nicer way of saying 'suck it up'," Imogen grumbled, "it's gonna take three years."

    "And the time's gonna pass, anyway. I promise."

Dear Diary,

Sutton was already fighting the urge to cross out the introduction—her therapist would have been so disappointed to know she gave up two words into her assignment. It was simple: keep a diary. Whenever she felt the urge to scream out her feelings, she would write them down as a healthy way to work through those emotions and then they would come back and go over it during her next session.

Today is July 10th and I'm reclaiming the little privacy I had growing up by keeping this diary to account the things going on in my life. I'm currently pulled over on the side of the road because I wanted to take a picture of the welcome sign so I could keep a memento of my starting over. I'll print it out at some CVS I can find and stick it in here somewhere.

I had a hard time saying goodbye to my little sister earlier but it had to be done. I only say this because as much as I enjoyed taking care (and practically raising—but I'm not saying this with malice) of her, I had to get out of that house for my own sake. My mother's had a tight grip on me ever since I can remember, keeping me close and within arms' reach.

I was a punching bag.

Whenever she couldn't find someone to be angry with, she'd turn to me and spew whatever venom that had been bubbling in her mouth. I did my best to keep that away from Imogen since she was only a kid, but so was I. I don't think I was ever good enough for her. But out here, in LA, I'm good enough. I'm gonna be good enough.

All my love,
Sutton :)

Author's Note.
wooooo first chapter !! and i wasn't scared to write it yayayaya

something more introductory without it being an infodump or yap session (but once i get around to writing more of sutton's monologues. . .buckle in)

i didn't go into too much detail about the parker household yet since i'll be giving sutton a "begins" chapter so we'll see all of that soon

let me know what you thought :)