Greenridge Academy

Chapter eight

I've been walking around all day with my head in a cloud, a Lachlan filled cloud. What was that last night? Why is it making me feel differently toward him? He probably got into some fight that he started with some innocent kid... and here I am feeling sorry for him. I don't know... it felt like he was being vulnerable with me. Genuine... No, he didn't tell me what happened when I asked. But I can't expect one thing while preaching about another. He needs privacy like everyone else — more than anyone else. Last night I decided not to push, it was obvious he didn't want to get into it. But with that... I let him see a part of me. The raw part that's still bleeding out. I showed him a part of me that I never show anyone... and he'll probably use it against me. That's who he is... but to be fair I knew who he was when I decided to be vulnerable with him. He didn't force me to open up, just asked a single question. One I didn't have to answer but did. If there's any sort of retaliation after this it's completely on me. I stopped avoiding him, he knew I was doing it so it seemed like there was no point. I'm not avoiding but definitely not going out of my way to see him. The bell chimes through the air and startles me, I didn't hear a single word through the entire AP calculus class. I need to put him out of my head, I spent years working on my gpa so I wouldn't have a problem getting a scholarship... I can't slack off now. I won't.
I walk to my car with my head down, not giving anyone the attention that they're still begging for. Most everyone has stopped saying things to me, but... the boys are relentless. None of them have touched me, so there's nothing I can do. I have to keep my head down and act like I cannot hear the whistles and the crude remarks. Once I'm finally seated alone in my car I let out a gust of air, it's exhausting. Putting on a front in front of everyone around you, not letting your smile fade in the slightest. I look around at the inside of my used two thousand and ten toyota corolla and sigh. If I added up the price of every car — ten cars in this parking lot I could pay for my entire tuition for all four years. Maybe even grad school. I hear a faint chime of bells, pulling my phone from the bottom of my thrift store purse. That's how I've always bought things I needed... not only because it was cheap. Even if that was a big part of it, I liked thinking of everything I bought from there having a life before me. A story that no one else would ever know about. Kind of like people, with just a look you can't tell the past of someone. You have to get to know something or someone before they reveal their past... their secrets to you.

James:

Hey, have any plans tonight? Want to catch up later?

I let out another deep sigh and wonder what could have possibly brought on all the new attention. It couldn't just be a makeover... of course there was the prank Lachlan and Miles organized. A shiver runs over my entire body thinking about it. I send him a reply and start the journey home.
"Honey, I'm home!" I sing through the air, there's a rustling sound from the kitchen but that's it. Normally when I come home Auggie is either waiting at the door, or running to me as soon as he hears that I'm home. I feel the frown lines cover my face, I wish my head didn't immediately go to disaster. But it does, I can't help it. "Guys?" I say while walking into the kitchen. Mom is sitting at the table with her headphones on looking over her bill folder. Her glasses are falling down her nose as she rubs her temples in tight circles. I lay my hand on her shoulder slowly, not wanting to scare her. "Hey mom. What's going on? Where is everyone?" I question. Her posture changes immediately and she throws a sloppy smile on. "Hey love. Dad took them for ice cream, and then a movie." I nod my head in response. "Sorry babe. I didn't think you would be home this early, you've been rather busy the last few weeks." She says with a shrug. I nod my head again, unsure of what to say. "Everything okay?" I nod at the endless bills in front of her. She quickly shoves them back in the folder while nodding excessively. "Of course. Don't worry about it." She wraps her petite fingers over mine and gives a little squeeze. "I have some money saved up, I could help." I offer. But she just shakes her head in response. We sit in silence for a few minutes before either of us speaks again. "Hey, I saw that James is back, have you seen him?" I nod my head in response. "Yeah, we actually have plans soon. Going to catch up over coffee. Want me to bring you back anything?" I ask. She shakes her head, refusing me to spend any of my money on her.
"I'm leaving!" I yell from the front door, when I hear a mumble from the kitchen I take that as my que to leave. My hands begin shaking and getting my key into the ignition becomes a full time job. The drive to the coffee shop across the street from the library is entirely too quick. I give myself three deep breaths before forcing myself from my car. I don't understand why I'm so nervous, It's just James... the same James I've been best friends with since I was an infant. Well, the same James who now looks like a professional athlete. My eyes quickly dart around the small coffee shop. The walls are a muted caramel brown, with a few lighter brown accents scattered around the small area. There are a few people littered around but it's still rather — intimate, I realize he's not here yet. My shoulders shrug with relief, I have a few more minutes to become normal. I order a sugary drink and pick a table that's up against the wall of windows, letting my feet dangle from the tall chair. I pull out my phone and snap a picture of my coffee sitting on the table and tag the coffee shop in the post. After waiting a few minutes for him to arrive I pulled out my book for class. I seriously don't see Lachlan and I meeting up just to read and talk about a book. I've been reading and writing my thoughts or questions about certain scenes if there ever is a time when he decides to actually do the project that will make or break our grade. Not that it would even matter to him I'm sure. He'd just have to call daddy to fix his grade, as easy as a snap of his fingers. While for me, that would mean scholarship or no scholarship... it isn't fair. I saw a quote the other day on my new favorite app, If you believe the game is rigged you'll never be successful. If you accept that the game is rigged, that there's nothing you can do about it but learn how to play, you'll be successful. The lens through which you view the world is all that matters. It seemed like a wakeup call for me, I got my planner out and came up with a bunch of different ideas to help my application standout. I brought it with me to ask James what he thought I should do. I looked down at my outfits for the first time since I left my bedroom. I decided to wear the outfit I got from the mall. High waisted black leggins, and the black fitted long sleeve crop top. Feeling self conscious for the first time in a while, why is this what I chose to wear? It looks like I either just finished a workout or put on this outfit wanting others to think I just worked out.
Apparently I was really into Mr. Darcy's groveling because, I don't notice James until he's sitting down with his coffee in hand. "Oh hey!" I squeak out while rushing to put my book away. "Hey killer bee. How many times have you read that now?" He says with a chuckle. I scoff, "Well... this time it's for a school project. So, technically I have a reason to be rereading it this time." He used to call me killer bee all the time when we were kids, I've never asked him why... and he's never offered up an explanation. After thirty minutes we're all caught up, me noting having much to report on. "Hey so I actually have a question I wanted to ask you." I say while shifting my body to grab my planner out of my purse. When I turn back toward him, I'm left gasping. The bell chimes through the small building, but that's not why everyone's head turns. Lachlan and Miles walk in with a small crowd of people behind them. Everyone in the building stops to look. That's the type of pull that he has, everyone is drawn to him without him even trying. Everyone in his group is chatting, except for him. His eyes are on me, not moving an inch as he walks from the door to the counter. His face is calm, giving nothing away. Out of the corner of my eye I can see James' mouth moving but I can't hear him. I can't hear anything other than the far away ringing. "You okay?" He asks while keeping his head on a swivel looking from me to the group of people who just walked in. "Ye — yeah of course." I stutter. "I uh–" I looked down to the planner in my hands, quickly remembering what I was going to say. "I've been trying to come up with ways to make my college application stand out." I pause but he remains silent so I continue. "I have a list of things I could do. I thought you could take a look and we could figure out the next form of action for me." He nods enthusiastically and scoots his chair until it's right next to me, giving me a new view of what was behind him. Lachlan's eyes find mine immediately from a cozy couch directly across the coffee shop from me. "Yeah sure. Let's see it." James says, bringing my attention back to him. He softly grabs the planner from my hands, leaning back in his seat lifting his arm around my chair. My breathing quickens and I find myself stealing a glance at Lachlan again. His brows are now furrowed, his jaw tight.  I look him over, he's wearing grey sweatpants with a white tshirt. White tennis shoes that are so bright I wouldn't be surprised if this was his first time wearing them. I notice I'm staring and snap my eyes back down looking at my coffee in front of me. James hand begins brushing my arm over the thin fabric of my shirt, shivers begin— coating every inch of my skin.
"Hey uh, I don't mean to be weird or anything... but do you know that guy?" James asks. I look everywhere but at Lachlan, "What guy?" I ask innocently. His points toward where Lachlan was sitting with a subtle nod. God — why do these things happen to me? It's really starting to piss me off. He doesn't own me. He can't scare me off anytime he feels like it, I was here first. I don't know what his deal is with me anyway. I'm sure if he saw some girl – his sister getting sexually assaulted he would have called the cops too. A light bulb clicks in my head. Miles. He must not have told him the real reason I called the cops, of course. Why would he tell Lachlan the truth about what happened that night. He doesn't know, I have no idea what lies Miles spewed to him... maybe in his head he has a good reason to hate me. I promised Libbi I wouldn't tell anyone, I'm sure a big part of that she meant Lachlan. It's not my secret to tell, so he'll just have to get over it. "Oh. Yeah, they all go to my school." I say nonchalantly. "Well, the angry blonde in the middle has been staring daggers over here since he sat down. Are they giving you trouble?" He asks concern laced throughout his voice. I look up into his eyes, he's genuinely asking. It's not like when we were kids and I could tell him everything. He was small and timid, and would never actually do anything about it. Now, he's huge. Towers over me in all directions, his arm is the size of my torso. "No, of course not." I force a bright smile out, trying to be convincing. He only gives a small nod in response. "Well, I think getting a good — no amazing recommendation letter from this big shot English Lit teacher will make your application even better. But I uh—" he pauses and looks back over to Lachlan. Who is still staring at us. "I think I should go. I'm already late for dinner. We'll hang again soon, yeah?" He asks while already walking away. I nod, "Mhm." He gives me a bright smile before walking out the door. I watched him get into his car that was parked right next to mine before looking over to Lachlan. I give him the same daggers he's been shooting at me since he's been here before scoffing when he doesn't change his stance. I get to my feet quickly throwing the rest of my coffee away before leaving the building. Once I'm far enough away from the door I let out a breath, looking around me. I need to get away — from everyone... everything. Just be alone for a while. I look directly in front of me, no better place to feel like myself and be alone for a little while other than Sheila's library. I turn the knob but the door's locked. I frown at the door until something catches my eye in the corner of the window. Family dinner, be back tomorrow :) They must be out to dinner since James is home, he hasn't come home very often since he left. Anytime I would ask Sheila or Denis about it they would try to change the subject as fast as they could. I never knew if it was because of me — or because it hurt them to think about. I turn the key in the lock until it clicks indicating that it's unlocked and I feel a smile spread. The best feeling in the world is having the keys to a library — and no one around to bug me. I turn and lock the door behind me, slowly walking around the counter. I close my eyes and inhale. The smell of books brings me a peace I've never felt with anything else. There's a faint sound of traffic, and the buzz of a few lights that were left on. Perfection. Home. When I'm old enough to have my own house, own family, and everything that goes along with it... this is what I want my home to feel like. Not just for me, but everyone who lives there.
I run my fingertips over the books that were left scattered across the counter. I pick them up and add them to the book truck. I swiftly leave a note for Sheila, letting her know I was here so she doesn't get freaked out that her books are not where she left them. I start putting away the books, hardly thinking. Just reading the titles and author names and practically floating across the floors. It's nice, being completely alone... not having to hide anything about how you're feeling. Just simply being yourself; I place a few books on the shelf in the sci-fi section before traveling back to the book truck. I look down to read the next book, and my entire body freezes. 'How to kill a mockingbird', is staring back up at me. I could have sworn — I just put this book back on the shelf. I blow out a shallow breath, put the book where it belongs on the shelf and keep going. I spend the next thirty minutes putting away romance after romance novel. Anywhere from Jane Austen to Penelope Douglas to Colleen Hoover. I read the backs of most of the books, trying to keep my mind off that creepy encounter. I hum along to the never ending tunes playing in my head, I grab a few books off the book truck and look through them to get an idea of where I'll be going. The books slip from my quaking hands, trembling with fear. My eyes dart all around me and I instantly stop humming, trying to be as quiet as possible. 'Ugly Love' by Colleen Hoover is looking back up at me — a book that I know for a fact I've already put away. Okay, if there's someone here trying to fuck with me or something now would definitely be the time. I don't stick around to find out, I quickly but quietly pull the book truck behind me leaving it at the front desk and racing out the front door. As soon as I make it outside, I turn around and lock the door behind me, terrified of what could be hiding in there.
I blow out a breath in relief and slam my back against the big wooden door, pulling in as many breaths as my lungs can hold. "Wow... he must work fast." A chilling voice says from the side of me. I jump back in surprise — or fear. My eyes widen as they land on him, Lachlan. "What?" I ask confused. He now has a white snapback on backwards. I'm getting distracted — "Was that you?" I can feel my blood begin to boil, he's taking this too far. I never did anything to him. I open my mouth to rip him a new one. "Relax, I just left the coffee shop." He says while looking down to his phone. I feel my face soften, he doesn't know what I'm talking about... it wasn't him. But if it wasn't him, there's only one other person it could be. One other person who threatened to kill me. Someone who was just across the street and could have watched me walk over here. Miles. "Are you doing anything right now?" Lachlan asks, still looking down at his phone. I look around us, making sure he's not talking to anyone else near us. "I – uh. No, I'm free." I say wringing my fingers. He stops — puts his hands down to his side and looks up at me. His piercing blue eyes like strobe lights into my soul, "Well, let's go then." He says motioning to his car that's directly in front of the building. "Uh –" I clear my throat, wanting my words to come out strong. "I drove, so wherever it is you want to go, I'll drive myself." He stops walking mid stride, head snapping toward me. I feel my throat tighten, readying myself for the snap I'm about to receive... it doesn't come. He just smirks at me, holding his hands out in front of him, gesturing for me to go ahead.