oneshot

im sorry, my cat.

since a kid, i always have a room for a cat. i remember there's a day where i was jogging with my family and a kitten running toward me. its feel like a fate. it start to make a loud purring when i rub their head. cute. so soft and alive. it will following me everywhere i go, even when i try to stop it. in the end, the kitten keep following until we get home.

now, 10 years has pass, and i still have a soft place toward a cat. the cat in this house are always change time by time, either because of age or sickness. but regardless of that, i have always give them food every morning and evening. even in busy day like today. i will wake up and take a cat food with me. the sound of meowing can be hear by now.

there's two cat in my house. the first one is a white and black cat. his name is ninja since he have a black mask around his eyes. he's energetic and quiet cat. my family love him so much. and another cat is a mix colour cat. her name is... i dont remember it, sorry. she always has been a clingy cat since she come to my house. unlike ninja who's hate to be touched, she love touch. i will lay in my bed, and she will come to my head and rubbing her head on my cheek while purring. i love her secreatly.

continuing our story, both cat has eaten to they desire by now. i observe them one by one while rubbing the mix color cat. she love to eat you know? you can even see her big belly despite being a small cat.

i hate it whenever there's a cat who will bother her just for being small. but in the same time, i cant let her sleep inside my house because my mom will hate it. so we keep them outside at night.

its still covid nowdays, therefore i need to attend school by zoom. and you know how school act when its covid like this. despite being in zoom for more than an hour, they will always keep giving the student a task.

like another busy days, after giving the cat a food, I'll always shut myself in my bedroom. attending zoom and doing a task. the task for today is hard and what make it more worse is my teacher didnt give an explanation or even an example. i was searching about this subject for more than one hour! when will it finish?

the clock keep ticking and the time has pass. i remember that time its around lunch. and a mix color cat that i forgot the name is keep meowing. i though nothing bad will happen. i mean the sun is still on my head. but the sounds of her meowing is keep getting increase. i was wondering at first, but keep being nonchalant about it and continued my task like usual.

its evening now and im ready to give the cat a food. i walk with a fresh mind since i has submit my task to Google classroom. i open the door, meowing, giving a call to my cat. but the only one who come is ninja. weird, where has my clingy mix color cat gone? but maybe she's just want to have her own time. maybe she's start to act like an adult!

ninja is eating like usual. cute. but its feel kinda weird without my mix color cat. i tried to walk aroung the terrace in hope to find my cute cat. but.... what did i found?

mouth open. a fade eyes. and a water thing has fallen from her mouth. i can feel her body become stiff. i try to touch it. i try to rub her head again. but no response come. i try to rub her cheeks. still no respone. i try to meowing, but i dont have a strength to push my voice out. i can feel my heart beating faster.

a minute later. and i just realize she's pregnant. a dirty thing in her side is not a puke. its something that should have a soul but not.

since when she's pregnant? i always play with her. what make me more uncomfortable is the fact she's pregnant, and i didnt know. is she... i cant even imagine of what can happen to her. she's.... she is so small....

she probably just became a teenager from being a kitten.... there's no way she's pregnant..... what happen to her when i dont see her?

today is the worst day. i hear her cry. but i do nothing. i

should have realized it when i see her belly become more bigger. i shouldn't have denied the idea.

if only, if only i know, i probably can help her first.

i feel so guilty.

forgive me.

forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me forgive me.

i want to puke. i cant breath well. i feel like someone trying to choke me. i cant forgive who has made you like this.