Only The Beginning

I'm Sorry

The events of the scriptorium had replayed in her head over and over again. Her hand twitched involuntarily when she thought of being cursed again and she still had a headache days later. Some moments it felt like she could still feel the pain coursing through her veins.

She hadn't attended classes all week, instead she hid out in the room, tending to her beasts and plants. Deek would bring her food from the kitchens, but most days it sat untouched. She had gotten numerous letters from her friends and Professor Fig, but she didn't reply. She knew they were worried, but she needed time.

"Olive? Helloo? Earth to Olive."

That's right, she was in the Great Hall, it was dinner, and she was with Poppy. She thought she had been careful not to be seen as she went to her room to collect a book, but Poppy was smarter and ambushed her as soon she walked into the common room. Her beast loving friend had been cautious to not mention her disappearance, only giving her no choice but to accept a dinner invitation. The food on her plate had barely been touched, but she shoved some potatoes in her mouth to appease Poppy's watchful eye.

"You haven't been yourself lately, is everything alright?"

"Oh yes, everything is grand. Sorry, I've just been overwhelmed with my extra assignments lately. I think I'm going to turn in for the night, see you back in the room." Olive stood abruptly before Poppy could say anything else and made a beeline for the door.

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She was walking with an advanced speed through the DADA tower corridors keeping her eyes on the floor. As she came around the corner, her body slammed into something solid, and a hand went to her waist to steady her. She looked up and immediately took a step back as she realized it was Sebastian she had run into.

"There you are, I was beginning to think you were avoiding me since our last... outing." He was analyzing her.

"Me? No, never. I-I've just been busy- with my assignments and all, trying to get ready for exams." She trailed off, not looking him in the eye. "Speaking of which, I should really go study now, see you later." She moved to walk past him, but he turned and grabbed her arm, she felt a jolt of electricity and tried to pull her arm away, but he held firm.

"Are you sure we're alright Ollie?" Sebastians hand moved down her arm to squeeze her hand. "I know you went through a lot that night, and I can't imagine how you feel at this moment. But I... I want you to know how much it meant to me, for you to help me like that so I can find some answers for Anne. I wouldn't have done it if there were any other way, I promise no more dark magic. I mean it when I say you're one of my best friends, I can't do this without you."

She was afraid to look at him, afraid that with one look it would make everything better. Against all better judgement, she glanced up at him, his deep brown eyes holding something she hadn't seen before but couldn't figure out what it was.

She plastered on a smile to ease his anxiety, "I promise we're okay, I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. I've just truly been busy is all."

The worry washed away from his face, replaced with a grin on his handsome face. "Brilliant. I've almost finished reading the journal, I'll make sure to send you an owl when I find something, I know I'm close!" He dropped her hand, bounding down the corridor as he finished his sentence.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly resumed her trek up to the astronomy tower, her feet feeling heavier than before.

The air was cold on the observation deck of the astronomy tower, she had taken to her usual spot on the ground, leaning her arms on the railing and letting her head rest in the crook of her elbow. The calm breeze relaxed her nerves as she stared out at nothing.

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"Seems I always find you here." She jumped at the voice behind her.

"Ominis, what are you doing here at his hour." Olive said to the icy blonde as he approached the railing, leaning on it.

"Looking for you, of course. No one's seen you for days." He stared out ahead of him, "How are you?" His words held a weight, he wasn't asking as a friendly gesture, she knew why he was asking.

"I'm alright."

"Stop lying."

"I'm not!"

"You are! You think I can't hear your fingers tapping the railing, or the tiredness in your voice?" Her hand twitched. "If there's anyone who understands what happened to you that night, it's me. You don't have to pretend."

Olive felt tears burn at her eyes, "I didn't think it would still affect me. But at times, I find myself unable to distinguish what's real and what is paranoia made up in my head... It's gotten better, but I see and feel that moment every time I close my eyes, I can't seem to escape from it. I know it sounds silly." Ominis was so silent she almost thought he had left. "Does it ever go away?"

"No." He paused, "But it does get better. I only have nightmares now when I'm back in my home."

"I worry about Sebastian."

"Funny, he says the same about you."

"I'm serious Ominis. I feel as though I watched a small piece of him die that night when he cast that curse. All I want to do is support him, but I worry he may fall deeper into the pit. I worry I might not be able to help him, and I worry I might not be able to stop. That's why I've been avoiding him... It just takes one look and I cave... I'm angry with myself for being so weak." Her voice quivered "And I feel responsible for what happened, I allowed him to cast it, it's my fault this path is opened to him."

"You cannot blame yourself. Sebastian is a grown boy; he is capable of making his own decisions and he chose to cast it. I'm not sure there was a right choice in this scenario, but what's done is done. I know you want to help, but you must be careful. This is a dark road to be toying with. We must promise to dissuade Sebastian at any chance he starts talking about Dark Arts again." His voice was solemn. "It broke me you know. To hear you scream like that. Knowing I was unable to help take your pain away." Olive's head snapped to him; mouth slightly open.

"Ominis..."

"My only wish in that moment was to stop your pain, I would have done just about anything. I should have never let Sebastian cast it on you, I should have insisted, it should have been me. I-"

Olive grabbed his hand and he paused. The two sat in silence, all words unspoken but acknowledged. She squeezed his hand.

I'm sorry."

"Me too."