ilomilo

Level 1.1

BILLIE

“Bro just hop off my dick I swear to goooood.”

“Liste- bil, come on.”

“No, I've already said I don't want to, I'm not gonna do it.”

“We're only trying to he-”

“Pssh yeah okay, and I've only already said for the fifth fucking time that I'm not doing it so leave me the fuck alone.”

It's been back and forth like this since stupid o'clock this morning and I'm getting to my very last nerve with my stupid management.

They think because I'm young they can push me around easily. “Do this Billie!” “Do that, it'll make you a star!” Fuck oooooff. Like yes you're doing your job but please let me have at least another 2 hours in bed before asking shit of me. It's barely 8am and I've only just had the time to actually shower and properly wake up.

“Billie.” I feel the comforting weight of my brother's hand placed on my shoulders as I breathe through the nattering that is my mom and Danny.

“I know.” I sigh, this is what I signed up for. This was my life now, and I should be grateful. Fuck, it should feel amazing…
But I'm so goddamn tired, all. The. Time.

And I wish it could be easier, I really do. I wish I could do everything I loved without the weight of what I actually do.

“Just one stupid interview. And then I promise I'll have your schedule cleared for the next three days.” I knew he couldn't promise me that, but it felt good knowing he had my back.
Finneas collapsed against me, just as tired, his head resting against the back of the riders leather seats. My own falling gently against his shoulder.

“I miss my bed dude, I can't wait to go home.” I sighed longingly, dreaming of my comfortable red room, the tapestry draping over my bed a prettier sight than the dreary roof of the bus. “One stupid interview, can't fucking wait.” I mumble under my breath, barely audible but the low chuckle I got from my brother was enough to know that at least he caught it.

“One stupid interview.” He sighed, closing his eyes as he himself wished away this bus journey.

:>

“Why the fuck did nobody tell me this interview was at a goddamn hospital, now I just feel like an ass!”

“Maybe we should have started with that huh.” My manager furrowed his eyebrows, hopefully contemplating his career choice fucking imbicile.

I looked up to this massive building, full of so much grief and hope. I felt so, so small. Not necessarily because the building itself was big but because in comparison to any circumstance someone might have to be in this hospital, I have it good.
I'm fucking thriving! Yet lately I feel more and more like this is where I should be. Or in a casket six feet deep.

“Billie!” My mom's voice rang through my ears, her fingers snapping in front of my face to get my attention, “Lost you for a second there. Is everything alright?” Her voice was laced with concern and my heart ached.

“Yeah. Let's just do this.”

Wren

“So is the chemo sticking or..?”

So fucking tired.

“It's early days wren. It's too hard to tell at the moment.” The nurse had a less than optimistic look on her face. “You've refused treatment for so long, in fact it might be too late even.” Who even says that to a dying kid. “What changed?”

“I saw what it was doing to my parents, watching me just accept something that could be prevented. I'm doing it for them. I could quite happily die tomorrow. But for them I'll try I guess.” I shrugged, exhausted and drained from today's round of chemotherapy and, well, the cancer. I honestly just want my bed right now.

“Well, good for you. I'll come back in a few then we'll see about getting you back to your room.”

Of course when I said my bed I actually meant the oh so comfortable hospital bed sat waiting for me in my lovely hospital room.
I thought I had time before they stuck me in this prison, but a little scare was enough for my mom and dad to panic and put me here anyway.

And I knew, I fucking knew they couldn’t afford it. Can't afford it even now. The hospital bill will be racking up and I'm to blame.

Stupid fucking illness.

“Wren, psst!” I looked over to one of my cancer buddies, Charlie, he's been here a little over 2 years. In and out for treatment and probably the smiliest person you'll ever meet given the circumstances. “I've heard some juicy hospital gossip from the nurses that a celebrity's coming here!”

“Fuck off, why would a celebrity ever step foot in this place? Smallest fucking small town hospital and there's a celebrity? Yeah right.” I scoffed and focused back on the needle marks lining my arms.

“Someone woke up in a mood.” I heard a grumble from Charlie and let a playful smile slip.

“Only always for you baby cakes.” I say laughing and with a wink.

As our laughter dies down I see a doctor come in with a wheelchair (even though I can very much still walk), “Ah! My carriage awaits. About time, I need to pee.” I move myself over to the chair, after being sorted out and insist on wheeling myself out. I'm a big girl, I can do shit myself still. Not a potato yet!

“Shit!”

“AGH-”

Okay maybe not, a motherfucker just crashed. Woops.

Wheelchair 2 Wren 0

“Shit, I'm so fucking sorry. I- I didn't see you coming and you just appeared out of nowhere, fuck. Are you hurt, c-can I do anything-”

Well shit

I'm too gay for this.

The flustered girl in front of me ran a hand through teal hair, cheeks getting redder and redder by the minute. I'm afraid she might explode.

“Hey, hey. Woah, calm down! I'm not dead yet, don't worry.” I chuckle, righting my wheelchair and reassuring the girl. “Don't sweat it, seriously.” I smile, suddenly getting shy and still really needing to pee.

“Bro I almost just threw you on the floor, you sure you're good?” She scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. Cute.

“Like I said. I'm not dead yet Blue Eyes.”

And with that I give a little salute and begin wheeling myself off again, “Now I'd love to stay and chat but I really need to pee. And you look like you've got people waiting for you so, I'll see you around.” I smiled at the perplexed look on her face and eventually got out of her line of sight.

“Well shit.”

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A/N

Aaaaaaah hello you gorgeous people. I remind you that there will be slow updates 😭 I'm trying my best I promise! Life's eating my ass rn

I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

A little disclaimer as well, please dont take anything I say medically in this book as truth or fact. I have no experience whatsoever with cancer/cancer treatment so I'm doing as much research as I can to get things right. If there's ever anything you see that is wrong or offensive in someone please dont be afraid to correct me, corrections are greatly appreciated actually.

hope you all have a lovely day/night <3