I hear a rustle behind me, I'm still sitting in front of my mother's grave, crying my eyes out. I don't know how to feel about all this. I feel so numb, like my hearts been kicked in by a fighting soldier kicking in his enemy. I've been sitting out here for a good three hours. "I suppose I should go home huh?" I say patting my mother's headstone. The wind picks up as if she's blowing my tears away from my eyes and saying she loves me. "I love you too mom.." I whisper climbing in my car. On my way back home, I think about all the times I had with my mom. I miss sitting shotgun and blasting old school music with her. I miss hearing her sing in the shower, I miss her telling me that my chances will come someday. I pass the local church. Stopping at the red light, I look over to the doors. I see my mother, father, and I walking out of those doors. That was same day my father promised to stop drinking. I remember how bad my mother cried. It got better after that, dad got a steady job. Mom was always out taking photography shots around the county. I turn my attention back to the now green light, it still hasn't suck in with my mother being gone. Sometimes if I'm quiet at night I can still hear her soft singing. I end my thoughts by pulling into my drive. Pushing my head against the steering wheel, I let out a long sigh. I look down at Jacobs sweatshirt. Putting the sleeves up to my nose, I take in the scent of the boy I once loved. I slowly slip his sweatshirt off and throw the God forbidden fabric onto my back seat. Note to self, let the dog pissed on it later. I giggle at the thought of Zeus my husky tearing the fabric between his massive jaws. I grabbed the key from the ignition, ignoring the chain Jacob had gave me the night we met at that stupid concert. I laugh at the sight of Jacob getting punched by my friend Colton. Lovely sight really. Walking up to the front door, I let myself in. I ignore the scattered clothing on the floor, making my way to my room. It's just my dad and I now. Just we live like bachelor's now since mom's gone. Mostly it's clothing scattered across the floor, or an occasional pizza box on the coffee table. I look into my father's room, he's no where to be found. I stay still for a moment, taking in the quite surrounding. That's when I hear the muffled bass player I call my father downstairs in our basement. I smile, just like nothing bad had happened. I make my way into my room, I scan the room. The sweet memories of Jacob and I haunting me. I throw my keys on my desk, knocking a few pencils off in the process. Ignoring them I grab my phone from my bag. I sigh seeing ten missed calls from Jacob, and twenty texts. I'll have to take his number out later. I turn on some music mostly five finger death punch or avenged sevenfold, I sigh just forgetting about them and going straight for Fall Out Boy. I look at myself in the mirror and begin thinking about that sleezey rat Erica. She didn't even fight for herself? I guess Jacob knows how to pick the weak ones. I run my fingers over the bruised flesh on my neck. Closing my eyes I remember the night before, Jacob wanted me so badly. If I would've just said yes. He wouldn't have cheated on me. Remembering his soft fingertips against my skin, pushing me into the wall. I take myself back to the night he got me high for the first time. The same night he stole my virginity. The night I fell in love with him. Him hovering over me in the shadows of my room, his lips meeting my neck. His hands pinning me down, how cold it was that night. I'm knocked out of thought by my dad opening my door. "Hey you okay kiddo?" He asks leaning against the door way. I look at my father, so much older. I see the gray hairs mixed with his black shaggy hair, he's aged so much. I bite my lip, looking into his eyes. I sit down on the edge of my bed. He sits down beside me, leaning my body into his. "He cheated on me daddy.." I whimper finally breaking down. My father sighs pulling me into his arms. I think to myself of how vulnerable I look right now. A seventeen year old girl, being held by her father cause her boyfriend broke her heart. He sighs, brushing my hair back behind my ear. "Well that's too bad for him." He says chuckling. I look up at my dad giving him a confused look. He leans ba k looking at me. "Because he just lost two beautiful things in his life." I look away wiping my eyes. "What's that?" I say. He smiles poking my nose. I giggle biting at him. "A very beautiful young woman." He says. I smile kissing his cheek. "Thanks dad.." he laughs holding me. I look over at my mirror looking at our broken family. "What was the other he's missing?" I ask confused. My dad smiles reaching down in his jean pocket. He hands me two tickets, he waits for me to look at the name of the show. I look up at my dad, my hands shaking in shock. "Holy shit." He laughs. "Did you at least read the band?" He laughs getting up to walk out. I look down at the name. "Three front row tickets for Fall Out Boy". I drop the tickets on my bed running after my dad who's already turned around with his arms open wide. I run into my father's arms, hugging him tightly. "I love you dad." I say burying my face into his shirt. "Good now get to bed and get something laid out for that concert." He says. I look at him in complete confusion. "It's tomorrow at 6 pm." He says laughing going into his room. I stand in my doorway, my mouth slightly agape. Jesus fucking Christ.
