Her Desires --- Cat. V

ONE

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"The Worst" by Jhené Aiko.

Growing up, I was always the odd one out—too quiet or too soft. I wasn't rowdy like the other niggas, preferring to stick to myself. Despite what people said about me, I wasn't a pussy. I knew what I needed to do and when to do it.

But being in new territory made my skin itch. I'd never been anywhere outside of Baltimore, Cherry Hill. Walking into Hollywood Arts was like stepping into a dream. I'd always craved to be somewhere else, anywhere else. But now that I'm here, I realize maybe home wasn't so bad.

The further I got into the school, the more eyes followed me. It pissed me off because every time I tried to confront those eyes with my own, the feeling would disappear, only to reappear as soon as I turned away. People weren't used to seeing someone like me here. I didn't know if it was the tattoos or the way I carried myself, but something about me always set people on edge.

I reached the dorm area, and the first thing that hit me was: Damn, they got money. The halls were lined with expensive paintings, and the record labels students had been assigned to were displayed like trophies. Roc-A-Fella caught my eye. I mean, who wouldn't want to work with Jay-Z and Beyoncé?

Eventually, I found my dorm—Room 728. Pushing the door open, I had to catch my breath. The place was like a whole damn apartment. Kitchen, living room, dining area, its own bathroom. I'd seen a lot of colleges, but this? This was something else.

A knock on the door pulled me away from my exploration. Instinctively, I untucked the gun from my waistband and crept up to the door, keeping it pressed against the peephole.

"Who's you?" I asked, cracking the door slightly, my grip tight on the handle.

"Ms. L/n, I'm just dropping off your items," the guy at the door said, looking more nervous than I was. Letting out a sigh I didn't realize I was holding, I tucked the gun back into my waistband and opened the door fully.

"My bad, man," I said, stepping back to let him in.

"It's alright, Ms. I hope you have a great school year," he said, setting down the last box and quickly making his exit. I locked the door and threw on the deadbolt. Maybe that was overkill, but habits die hard.

Looking around the room again, I saw the few things I'd brought with me from home—clothes, shoes, my studio equipment. Everything else would have to wait until I hit the store. Shopping wasn't an issue, though. My bank account was stacked.

I didn't bother unpacking yet. Instead, I decided to explore the area a bit. As soon as I stepped outside, I realized something: I was going to need a car eventually. It was way too hot to be walking everywhere.

I hadn't made it far when I passed a group. Didn't pay them any mind, but apparently, the feeling wasn't mutual.

"Hey!" a Black dude yelled. I ignored him.

"Hey! You!" His voice was closer now. I sighed and stopped walking, turning slowly to face him.

"What?" I asked, my voice coming out harsher than I intended.

The guy didn't seem phased. In fact, he smiled wider, like he found it funny. "I'm Andre Harris. This is my girl Tori and Cat," he said, gesturing to the two beside him. Tori waved, her smile bright and cheerful.

"Hi!" Tori greeted.

I felt eyes on me again, but this time, it didn't piss me off. When I glanced over, I saw Cat staring at me. It wasn't in a judging or invasive way, more like...curiosity.

"You don't talk much, huh?" Andre asked, pulling my attention away from Cat. I shrugged and shook my hand side to side.

He nodded, catching on to my gesture just as two more people joined the group.

"If you need a job, the circus is always hiring," an emo girl sneered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. I rolled my eyes and scoffed, looking her up and down. Andre chuckled, clearly used to her behavior.

"Don't mind her. That's Jade and Beck. They mean no harm," Andre explained, gesturing toward the emo girl and her friend. I gave a slight nod, acknowledging them, but my focus kept drifting back to Cat.

"H-Hi! My name's Cat!" she finally blurted out, like she had been holding it in. "Wow, you're really pretty!"

Her words caught me off guard, and I couldn't stop the small smile that crept onto my face.

"She can smile! It's a miracle!" Andre exclaimed dramatically, making me chuckle despite myself.

but my gaze lingered on Cat. It was strange—in B-more, I wouldn't have batted an eye at a woman who wasn't Black. But here I was, entranced by her.

Beck must've noticed the way my gaze lingered on Cat because he stepped forward, his face hardening. "Eyes off her, bro," he warned.

I didn't know whether to laugh or rock his shit. I chose the latter, chuckling as I walked up to him. There was a clear height difference between us, but he still puffed out his chest, trying to stand his ground.

I stared him down for a moment, then smiled slightly and patted his shoulder. "Relax, pussy" I muttered before brushing past him.

I was planning to go to the store, but I stopped in my tracks when I heard Cat's voice again. "Hey! Wait up!"

I turned to see her jogging up to me, her smaller body colliding with mine. "Ouch," she mumbled, rubbing her head slightly. But her smile quickly returned. "Are you going to that restaurant?" she asked, pointing down the street.

I nodded, even though I hadn't really been planning to go to that restaurant. But something about the way she looked up at me made me decide, Fuck it. Do it for the plot.

"I-I should go with you. NOT saying you can't go by yourself. Obviously." She stammered over her words, embarrassed. "I just..." she trailed off, mumbling under her breath.

I bumped her lightly with my shoulder, giving her a thumbs-up. Her face lit up, and she grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the restaurant. I could've stopped her—after all, I was twice her size—but I didn't. I let her lead.

Inside, she didn't sit across from me like I expected. Instead, she slid into the booth right next to me, her small body leaning slightly against mine. "You smell really good," she mumbled, taking a bite of her salad. Her words were innocent, but they made something in my chest tighten. I hadn't felt this close to anyone in years, not since my mom.

"What school do you go to?" she asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hollywood Arts," I muttered.

Her entire body seemed to vibrate with excitement. "That's my school too!!" she exclaimed, her smile brighter than the sun outside.

Usually, girls like Cat—too nice, too optimistic—pissed me off. They viewed the world through rose-colored glasses, blind to the darkness. But cat was pretty cool she seemed more aware of the thing around her.