On The Flip Side(FemxStud)

2 ~The beginning and the end pt2.

May 30th 2024

Amara Carter

I ate my third jello cup of the day while listening to butterfly effect by muni long. I was listen to sad songs or r&b, orrrr early 20s man anything about LOVE. Whether it's a happy or sad song I'm listening to it.

I only had in one earphone so I could still hear and no it's not AirPods and yes I'm using a damn cord. What I look like paying for some shit I'm going to loose.

I mean shit I'm definitely going to loose these too but hey, at least they're cheap.

As the song continued to play I felt a few tears run down my face. I know I could've just said yes but something was stopping me, it was a gut feeling and I still feel it.

I don't know about anybody else but I swore to myself a long time ago I'd always trust my gut no matter what.

and sighed heavily at the sound of knocking at my hospital room door. I decided to hurry and put down my jello cup to fake sleep just incase said person is my black ass mother who's only knocking as a warning.

That lady does not care she will enter as she pleases per usual, but to my surprise it was not her and said person started to enter.

"Yup looks like she's sleeping".

"Okay ma'am thank you".

Why is she here. I've been here for 5 days and she hasn't come once. You'd think if you find out your girlfriend has a brain tumor you'd be by her side every second of the day.

When I passed out in her car I didn't wake up, they rushed me to the hospital and apparently I have some big brain tumor.

I'm not scared or anything honestly, I mean yes there's a chance I could die but why would I stress myself about something like that.

We get one chance at life best believe I'm not waisting mine on fear of "what if".

I felt eyes burning a hole into my soul, if I could pass out again right now I would.

"Can you not stare at me it's creepy".

"I- y- your awake?".

"Mmhm sadly". I opened my eyes and just looked at her, her eyes were bloodshot. She looked tired and her hair was messy.

"Can we talk".

"Sure". I kept my response short, I love her but I'm mad at her for not coming to see me after she literally just asked me the biggest question ever.

She grabbed a chair from against the wall and pulled it up closer to the bed. Once she sat down she just looked down at her fingers for a minute playing around with them.

I noticed bruises on her knuckles and my heart instantly started aching. I don't know what she's dealing with right now.

"I'm sorry". As I spoke her head shot up and she gave me this confused look.

"What- no you have nothing to be sorry for I promise, I'm the one that should be sorry I ain't been here not once, I just needed a second to breathe honestly".

I just nodded my head and looked up at the ceiling. I was trying to disappear, that's always my first solution to every problem, disappear or pass out.

I am NOT saying I passed out on purpose the other day BUT it definitely happened when it should've. Every time I read a book or watch a show and something even remotely embarrassing or stressful happens I scream for the characters to run away, pass out, disappear, die sometimes.

I'm kidding about the last part... obviously.

I felt Kee grabbed my hand, it startled me but after a second it just felt very comforting.

"I'm sorry I didn't come see you, I was scared honestly. I felt like you p- like what happened was my fault. I know I caught you by surprise with my question and honestly you can just forget I asked, it was very rushed and I'm sorry. I love you though and I want you in my life forever, not going to school together this past year has been terrible but now we're graduated and you're just about to up and leave. In all honesty a big reason I asked is because I want you to stay".

"What?" I didn't realize I was crying until I felt my eyes start to burn a little since it's been a while since I cried.

I pulled my hand away from her and sat up some in the icky hospital bed.

"What you're saying is you proposed to me so I wouldn't go to New York and pursue my dreams".

"No no - I mean that's part of it I just-".

"You just only care about yourself. I've been asking you to for months to come with me. You have the money to do so, you're not going to college , you're not even cool with your family, OH AND Your whole brother lives in New York . You have no real reason to not come with me and if you do please tell me so I can fucking understand because right now I'm pissed the fuck off by your entire existence and it's going to take a lot more than a sorry ass apology to make me feel any different." 

She let out a loud sigh and leaned back in her chair, her whole demeanor changed and I couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was.

"Okay".

"Okay? What do you mean okay".

"I wanna break up".

I know my eyes looked like they might pop out the socket but damn what the hell. How did we even get from point A to point B.

Before I could say anything else she got up and left. 

I can't even wrap my head around anything that just happened. First she proposed, then apologized, then said she only proposed so I'd stay here and then broke up with me.....

At first I was just stuck in the moment then I realized I just lost the love of my life and don't even know how. I mean yeah I went off on her but barely dude.

I sunk back into this stupid bed and buried myself under the stupid blankets. I just laid there and cried myself to sleep. Maybe this is all a dream and that's why it's not adding up.

Maybe I just need to go to sleep and when I wake everything will be better.

I hope.

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