𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

fourteen

I finally meet with my father today, and I couldn't be more excited to hound him into telling me absolutely everything I want to know.

It's what I've done since I was able to talk and he usually cracks. I always get my way when it comes to my father, one could say I'm his weakness.

Now it's just a matter of coming up with a reason to leave. One that won't raise alarms in that pretty little head of Marcelo's.

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"Shopping. You want to go shopping?" He is walking at a fast pace down the halls while I followed him like a lost puppy.

"Well yeah. That's what I just said." I say, matter of factly.

"Sure." He says simply and I stop in my tracks.

"Sure?" He stops as well and turns around, "You're not going to give me the run down? Ask me a million of questions and question ulterior motives?"

"Do I need to?" He raises an eyebrow and I start to feel guilty.

Yes.

"Nope." I smile and start to skirt away before he does give me the rundown.

"Wait." I hear his deep voice from behind me.

Damnit.

"Yeah?" I turn, he's walking towards me now.

"Be careful." He says. It feels intimate and I almost want to recoil. Everything inside of me wants to grimace but instead a goofy smile takes over my face and I instead say: "I will."

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I once again take caution on my way to my father but it seems Marcelo actually took me on my word and didn't have anyone follow me.

I don't know why that hits me so hard, I almost wish he had sent someone after me to take away this guilt.

Doing things behind his back used to be easy for me, not that they aren't easy now, they just aren't as easy. I don't take satisfaction from it anymore at least.

This is exactly how I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to make friends, I wanted to come in and close myself out to any relations. I am only human at the end of the day, my father would say that's a weakness.

Having feelings or emotions in the world of mafia is strictly "forbidden". It makes you weak. The horrible thing about these words he drilled into my head, is, they are 100% true. I try to pretend that it doesn't kill me inside that it is.

Elliot was my weakness, he made me weak. He made me feel like I could put down my shields, and I payed for it in the end. My father's right in that aspect even though I so incredibly want him to be wrong.

I need to watch myself. I can't get personal with this case, I just can't.

My thoughts carried me along the roads, and I walked mindlessly. So mindlessly that I was confused when I saw the building I was to meet with my father at already.

This one was closer than our last meet up spot, this was more of a low-key cafe in the outskirts of Sicily, whereas the diner was smack dab in the downtown of the city.

I didn't even wear a disguise this time, just sunglasses and a cute little white cap, my hair swam down my back like a river turned to ink. Not the kind of river with rocks and jaggedness along its path but the ones that are so serene you feel you can step in them without fear of even a scratch.