We never thought it will get this far.
The first time was a one time thing that we both regretted but we kept coming back for more and now we can't stop.
I don't think neither of us wants to.
Our desire for each other has grown more than anything...
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I punched and hit the bag until my hands bled.
I needed to feel something instead of this pain in my heart.
I don't know how long I've been here. I lost track of time after 6 a.m.
Sweat poured down my face, mixing with the blood from my knuckles. The gym was empty, silent except for the dull thud of my fists against the bag. Each punch was an attempt to numb the ache, to silence the thoughts of her, but nothing worked.
"Eloise," I muttered under my breath, throwing another punch. Her name was a constant echo in my mind, a reminder of what I had lost.
I staggered back, breathing heavily, and leaned against the wall. The pain in my hands was nothing compared to the pain in my chest. It felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on. I slid down the wall, sitting on the cold, hard floor, staring at the ceiling.
She thought she was protecting everyone, but she didn't realize she was tearing me apart. I couldn't understand why she couldn't see that we were worth the risk. I loved her more than anything. How could she not believe in us?
I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Images of Eloise flooded my mind—her smile, her laugh, the way she looked at me when she thought no one else was watching. She was everything to me, and now she was gone.
"Damn it," I whispered, clenching my fists. The pain in my knuckles flared, but I welcomed it. At least it was something I could control, something I could focus on instead of the emptiness inside.
I stayed there for what felt like hours, lost in my thoughts, replaying our last conversation over and over. Maybe I should have fought harder, should have said something different. But it was too late now. She had made her choice, and I had to respect it, no matter how much it hurt.
Eventually, I forced myself to stand up, wincing at the pain in my hands. I needed to clean up, to put on some bandages. I couldn't keep hurting myself like this, even if it was the only way to distract from the heartbreak.
As I walked to the locker room, I made a silent promise to myself. I would find a way to move on, no matter how impossible it seemed right now. Eloise had made her choice, and I had to find a way to live with it. But one thing was certain—no matter what happened, I would always love her. Even if it meant loving her from afar.
As I pushed the locker room door open, I nearly collided with Caleb. "Christan what the fuck I've been calling you for hours man,"
"Sorry I-"
"Dude," he interjected. His eyes widened as he took in my disheveled appearance and bloody knuckles.
"Christian, what the hell happened to you?" Caleb asked, his voice filled with concern as he grabbed my arm to steady me.
