Take The Risk | 18+

~ Prologue ~

This is it. I stare at my phone, my heart sinking. Olli had been my confidant, my joy, and the one who made my heart race with just a text. But now, he is nowhere to be found in my followers list. I quickly switch to Snapchat with tears running down my cheeks, I scroll down to his name, and yes. There it is. A cross. He removed me.

Deep down, a little part of me knows what is going on. We've talked about it before. I've told him that everything is fine, but it still eats him up. Especially at night. Olli and I are 3 years and 10 months apart. I'm turning 16 in 5 weeks, and he's turning 20 in 4 months.

But now it's real. He has probably thought this over a thousand times, and eventually came to the conclusion to just move on from me. To just forget everything.

I get up from my bed and take a look at my red face in the mirror. Puffy cheeks, watery eyes. I grab a strand of my hair and stuff it behind my ear. I wipe away the wet tears from my cheeks, trying to hide the fact that I just broke down. I open my door and slowly make my way down the stairs, taking every millisecond to gather myself together.

"Hi sweetie," I hear my mother say as I open the door to the living room. I turn around and walk to the kitchen, not allowing my mother to see my face. I'll probably end up crying if she sees it.

I open the fridge and grab peach iced tea; my favourite drink. But when my ears pick up the next 3 words, I lose it. "Are you okay?" she generally asks, not being aware of my sadness.

I turn around and lean my back against the counter top. Tears well in my eyes and stream down my face.

"Oh," my mother shrieks as she immediately opens her arms, encouraging me to hug her. I don't hesitate any longer - I walk over to the couch and lounge myself into her arms.

"What's wrong my sweetheart?" she asks me in a concerned tone. Her right hand runs through my hair, as her other hand caresses my back.

Olli left. He's gone now, and knowing him, he wouldn't come back simply because he feels bad. He had been ignoring me for a month already, but he sent a message after about a week, apologising but saying that he couldn't do anything about it. Olli is gone. The one boy I actually connected with. I've had deep connections before, but he was different. I could be myself whenever I texted him, I could say the weirdest stuff and he would just laugh. He appreciated me, he made sure to tell me that every day. I have learnt to love myself, because he taught me my worth. He once told me that my laugh was contagious, he told me that I was perfect by design.

"I-" I stutter a bit, choking on my sob. "I'm just a bit stressed out because of exams." I lie. My mum doesn't know that I speak to people online, so I certainly wouldn't tell her that I hopelessly fell in love with a boy from England.

"Is that it, baby?" her hands still hold me as tight as they can. Even though my mum and I have our differences most of the time, she knows how to comfort her daughter.

I make a mhm-noise and get up from her embrace.

My mother can't know. At least not until I turn 18.