Chess & Checkers

21. She's the Devil

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The moon shone bright and high in the sky, its silver glow casting an ethereal light over everything it touched. Crickets chirped softly, hidden among the bushes, their song a gentle backdrop to the night's serenity, as Meerab stood at the sink, facing the mirror, tightly clutching the countertop until her knuckles turned white.

What had just happened?

A whirlpool of thoughts churned in her mind as she recalled everything that had just happened. Her lips slightly parted in disbelief, her left hand slowly rose up as if it had a brain of its own and her fingers trembled as she stared at them, bewildered and awestruck.

Just minutes ago, she had touched him with this very hand, felt the heat of his skin with these very fingers.

Where had the confidence come from?

This was a side of her even she didn't recognize. A part of her was mortified, a blush creeping up her cheeks as she internally screamed at her reflection. But another part felt oddly triumphant, smirking back at her through the mirror as if congratulating her on letting her wild side break free again.

Wild, impulsive Meerab had rarely made an appearance since the day she turned eighteen.

On her eighteenth birthday, Meerab had stood in front of the mirror in her old bathroom, just like this, and vowed to herself to change her life. She had been stuck in a toxic loop of self harm, self-destruction, suicidal thoughts, impulsive decisions, and for years she struggled to break through it.

Life had been anything but kind to her. Meerab hadn't experienced the normal joys and simplicities that every person deserved. Her world had turned upside down when she was just ten years old, the day her parents had gotten divorced. The event had left her utterly confused and heartbroken. She struggled to understand why her parents couldn't even look at each other, what the word 'divorce' meant, and why, whenever she mentioned it, the adults around her would fall silent. Her future felt like an abyss, and her present was a haunting maze of emotions, a labyrinth she feared she would never escape.

In her confusion and distress, she turned to Maa Begum, the only person in her life who was close to her mother. She had hoped for clarity, for answers that would make sense of the chaos. But Maa Begum, with her gentle wisdom, hadn't explained things clearly either. Instead, she had enveloped Meerab in a comforting embrace, caressing and kissing her head. "Stay strong, Meerab," she had whispered softly. "Be brave through everything. It will be alright; you just have to be strong."

Meerab had clung to those words, but the pain and confusion didn't fade easily. Every day felt like a struggle, each moment weighed down by unanswered questions and an aching heart. She remembered the silent dinners with her father that began to feel forced, her eyes constantly landing on her mother's empty chair, the nights filled with muffled sobs, and the days she felt invisible, lost in her own home. The laughter that once filled their house had been replaced by a heavy, oppressive silence.

To a ten-year-old, that sounded like the most confusing thing in the world, even more baffling than a math equation for a student who struggled with the subject. She had no idea what was going on around her. She didn't understand what had already happened, nor did she grasp what was about to unfold. She had no inkling of the downward spiral her life was about to take. Nobody had, and nobody could have, prepared her for the storm that was about to engulf her life, wrecking her most precious relationships with the two people she loved most in the world.

The innocence of her childhood shattered as she watched her family fall apart. Each day was a new wave of confusion and heartache, with her young mind struggling to make sense of the emotional chaos. She wanted to believe and to hold on to Maa Begum's words, but the reality around her made it almost impossible. The once warm and loving home had turned cold and hostile, and Meerab was caught in the middle, desperately trying to hold on to the fragments of her broken family.