Short Stories of our beloved ISHMAN

Destined(4)

December marked the ending of yet another semester and with new year approaching everyone was buzzed with excitement. Ishan and his batchmates decided to go for clubbing. Shubman tagged along. They were sotting near bar area when a girl approached them. She introduced herself to ishan and nodded in direction of shubman just to acknowledge his presence. Shubman heard them talking and it seemed like ishan and that girl knew each other. It was strange because shubman has never seen ishan with that girl.

  Ishan was laughing and talking with that girl and it was hard for shubman to watch. He wanted to be  part of that conversation. He wanted to be the one making ishan laugh but he knew that possibility of  it happening is so good to be true. To make the sight of ishan being close to someone else bearable, he decided to drink. He drank until the only thing he could think about ishan loving him back and he kept smiling like a fool.

     Ishan noticed shubman drinking mindlessly and he thought maybe shubman is missing the person he love.
Everyone wishes to be with their loved one during these occasions. Ishan watched shubman closely,noticing him in a different light , a man who is in love and ishan heart tightened with the thought shubman being close to someone else. Someone else being Shubman's priority,someone else cuddling shubman to sleep and when that person comes to shubman's life, ishan will be replaced. He will have to stay away from shubman. He won't be able to enjoy quiet dinner just with shubman. Ishan was overwhelmed with all these emotions suddenly clouding his mind. He decided to put full stop on those thoughts and marched towards Shubman. Even though there was still time until clock strikes 12, he decided to take shubman to their room because that guy seemed pretty wasted to him.

   Shubman was drunk for sure but he was aware about his surroundings. When ishan put arms around his shoulder and told him that they are going to room, he didn't protested. Alcohol was clouding his mind and he was feeling sleepy. Soon they reached their room, ishan helped him through pre bed routine. They are lying on bed. Ishan has maintained a distance today because he is unable to understand everything going on with him right now. He was fine few  days ago, he was praying for Shubman to be loved back by that person. But right now he is not sure anymore. Amidst all these unnamed emotions, he realised one thing that he doesn't want to be away from shubman. He doesn't want anyone else to have shubman's attention. He needs to sort out his feelings towards shubman. He is lost in thoughts when shubman hugs him from behind. Ishan is holding is breath and for some reason today those arms around his waist are making him feel things.
 
    Ishh, are you close with that girl from club? Are you courting her? spoke shubman.

  Ishan tuned around and looked into shubman's eyes and spoke in low voice, no , why do you ask?
 
Nothing, you two seemed pretty close. But do you like someone? said shubman almost like a whisper with his hand massaging ishan's back.

  Ishan stiffened at the touch and replied back, there might be someone but i am not sure.

  Ohh..that person will be lucky, being loved by you. Ishh, you won't leave me right? I wish to room with you throughout my life, said Shubman sounding cheerful more than usual,trying to hide pain at thought of ishan liking someone but he gotta be happy for his love.

  Shubman pulled ishan closer to him, there faces inches apart, he doesn't know from where this sudden urge of voicing out his feelings came from. Shubman's hand caressing ishan's cheeks. Ishan closes his eyes and for the nth time he is unable to breathe today but he enjoys shubman's touch. His touches are so gentle like ishan is some fragile item and even a bit of harshness will shatter him into peaces. Everything is so silent upto the point where they can hear each other's breaths. It's heavy, filled with unsaid feelings and gestures wanting to be said out loud.

   You're so pretty ishh, I know you're going to hate me for this but i am going to say it anyway. I don't like it when you're close to someone. I don't like when i am not centre of your attention. I want to have all of you for me only. When i first i met you, i felt strange connection with you and i came back to you even though i didn't had any idea why i wanted to be near you. I realised it within one month of me being here and i kept falling harder. I couldn't stop myself . I made sure that i stay close to you all the time. It's been 18 months ishh since i have realised and my heart is happy with you being so close to me but aching at the same time because it keep asking for more and I can't help but desrie you. I love you, i love you, i love you, he chants them repeatedly as if they are mantras and person who's centre of all this will bless him. I love you so much that it has started to hurt  physically now. I love you, he repeats this time louder as if the bird trapped in his chest had been finally let out of the ribcage,allowed to fly,allowed to wonder and maybe allowed to be loved. A lone tear escape his eyes and he does something which is gonna backfire but he does anyway because he knows he might not have this chance again. He kisses Ishan's forehead and then his lips. The moment his lips touches ishan, clock strikes 12, marking the change in calendar and change of dynamics between them. Because ishan doesn't respond to any of shubman actions, neither his confession nor his kiss and detaches him from shubman's hold and moves to farthest side of bed.