𓆰♛Sonnet of Royalty✉︎

Тёмная ночь

Warnings: somewhat "sexual" thoughts, Russian lyrics, mentions of Fyodoor 2 toe ev sky /j

Как я люблю глубину твоих ласковых глаз,

Как я хочу к ним прижаться сейчас губами,

                                                             - Тёмная ночь (dark is the night), by Mark Bernes.

 
 It was hours after Dazai left the park, and yet he still couldn't fall asleep. His mind continued to think back to Sigma, the way his cheeks flushed and his eyes.. god, his eyes.. they were so pretty. And whenever he smiled, that sent butterflies to his stomach. It was almost like.. it was... no. It can't be. Dazai's cheeks heated up, his head buried in his pillow as he thought about the man. He tried to push the feeling away, but he couldn't.  Even in the darkness, Dazai's cheeks glowed a subtle red as he continued in his thoughts. He thought back to the way Sigma's hair looked, and how it framed his face perfectly.. even the thought of him made Dazai's heart race, as he silently cursed at himself. "Тёмная ночь.." The Brunet muttered, remembering how a russian nobleman, Fyodor Dostoevsky, would sing that exact song or hum to the tune of it. It was rather intriguing.. to Dazai at least. Dazai tried to shake all thoughts of Sigma and Dostoevsky from his head, but he kept failing miserably. He was so tired of his mind thinking about Sigma, he just wanted it to stop.. but he couldn't. "God.. why won't he leave my mind?.." Dazai muttered quietly, his head buried between the pillow and the sheets.He tried to think of other things, other people, maybe to help distract his mind.. but it was no use. Every single thought he had went back to Sigma in one way or another. "..Why can't I just forget about him.." Dazai mumbled as he rolled over, his eyes narrowing as he gazed up at the ceiling. The more Dazai thought about him, the more his thoughts strayed from innocent to.. something quite the opposite. His mind wandered, as he thought about holding Sigma's waist and pulling him close, or even having him sit on his lap. Dazai felt his cheeks heat up as the thoughts continued to flow into his mind like water in a river. He thought about what Sigma's smile would look like as he spoke, and how it would feel if his voice was directly in Dazai's ear. He thought about how he would hold his hand, and kiss his skin as they laid in bed together.  Dazai let out a strangled noise as his thoughts continued on, becoming more and more detailed. He thought about how he would run his fingers through Sigma's hair, and how he would gently play with his hair as he pressed kisses to the other's neck. 

He needed to stop, he knew he did. Could he stop, though? Absolutely not. He just decided to lay in bed until morning, sleep or not. Dazai had half a mind to get up and walk around, maybe even get a drink of water. But he didn't want to. He was far too tired to walk, and he just wanted to bury his head into his pillow and dream of Sigma. Eventually, after a long while of just laying there with his mind going crazy, Dazai let out a defeated sigh and closed his eyes. This was going to be a long  and restless night. Despite his best efforts to sleep, Dazai couldn't seem to drift off. Even in darkness, his brain continued to show him different scenarios, different things he could do with Sigma. He thought of running his fingers through his hair, or running his hand down his body-.... Dazai quickly shut down that thought and turned onto his side, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't understand why this was happening. Why he was thinking about Sigma this way, why his mind wouldn't stop showing him scenarios that would never happen."..Damnit.." Dazai muttered, letting out a quiet sigh. He was so tired of his brain right now, he just wanted to think about something.. anything other than Sigma.  

But it seemed like it wasn't happening. No matter how hard he tried, his brain kept showing him different scenarios with Sigma. He found himself thinking of pulling Sigma down to sit on his lap, or the different sounds he would make if Dazai bit his neck. These thoughts sent a shiver up Dazai's spine, and he gripped at the sheets tightly. "..Why.. why can't I just forget about this man.." Dazai said quietly, his forehead pressed against the cool sheets of the pillow. His body ached to hold Sigma, and his mind was showing him exactly what he wouldn't do. He thought of what it would be like to walk up to Sigma and pin him against a wall, or to lift him and rest his legs on his hips as they kissed. "Please.. Please just get out of my head.." He muttered, noticing the room get brighter as laid there. The sun was up. He had been doing this all night. How amusing. Dazai silently cursed as sunlight crept in through the curtains, realizing that the sun had begun to rise. He had laid there, thinking of Sigma, all night. And now, he was feeling much more tired than earlier. Dazai sat up with a groan, his hair messy and his head in his hands as he tried to forget these.. unholy scenarios. He quickly stood up and walked to the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water in an attempt to get any thoughts of Sigma out of his head.