Smile for me

DOS

Sevi's POV

I was unable to calm myself down earlier, so my adviser suggested na umuwi muna ako. I didn’t listen, though—I didn’t know what to do at the time. My mind kept dwelling on the painful memories of her death, of how I killed her with my own hands.

Guilt kept rushing over me, and I couldn’t help but go to her grave to ask for forgiveness, to beg her to forgive me for what I did. If I hadn’t been so stupid, she wouldn’t have died.

I should have been the one to die. She didn’t deserve that. I should’ve died instead of her.

That day... I accidentally killed her.

No, it wasn’t an accident. I did that on my own accord.

Savannah, my twin sister, was deadly allergic to nuts. But I didn’t know it was that serious—all I knew was that she was allergic to nuts; I didn’t realize it was deadly.

I remember she had been messing with me for days, and I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I thought of a way to get back at her.

I just thought that by feeding her nuts at makita kung paano mangati at magkaroon ng butlig ang katawan at mukha niya, it would make me feel better.

So, I did it. I secretly put nuts in her drink and gave it to her. I wanted to see her suffer from her allergy, but not in a way that would kill her—just in a way that would give her rashes on her face and body. That was all. I never wanted her to die or anything; I just wanted to get back at her for messing with me.

It was a dumb thing to do, and I shouldn’t have done it. I never thought that just by feeding her nuts, she could die.

I remember panicking so much when she suddenly started vomiting. She was crying in pain, clutching her neck as if she were having a hard time breathing.

Her eyes looked at me furiously, as if she resented me. I knew that, of course. Why wouldn’t she? I literally made her eat something she was deathly allergic to.

I wasn’t expecting her to forgive me, but I knew for sure she never would. She died just because her twin brother decided to prank her. How dumb is that?

I frantically called the ambulance that day, panicking but able to explain what happened, including that I had fed her the nuts myself. But when we arrived at the hospital, she suddenly died.

She was dead on arrival—she couldn’t make it. My world seemed to collapse that day, and I couldn’t move at all until Mom slapped me.

Mom and Dad were working that day; they were called by the hospital and told what had happened. Both of them refused to look at me, avoiding me at all costs. They didn’t charge me with murder because I was their child, but they see me differently now.

It was all my fault to begin with, so I don’t resent them for that. Honestly, if I could turn back time, I would do it, even if it cost me my own life.

"I-I'm sorry..." I said, weeping while bowing at my twin’s grave. I’ve been constantly apologizing to her because I feel so guilty. I’m living my best life here, while she can’t even live. Madami pa siyang pangarap—I know that. And yet, I ruined it. I ruined everything, her dreams and her life.

"Pfft—hahaha!" My eyes widened when I heard a familiar laugh. I looked up and saw her there, sitting on top of her grave. She was laughing at me while smiling brightly. Am I hallucinating again?

"S-Savannah?" I whispered, my eyes filling with tears as I rushed to hug her—but I couldn’t. She laughed at me for a bit, then looked at me, smiling brightly like in the old times. She raised her hand and ruffled my hair. My eyes widened as I felt her hand, ruffling my hair. No… rather, it was the wind that did that.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Savannah. P-patawarin mo ako," I said immediately, my voice cracking as I cried, begging for her forgiveness. She simply smiled at me, tsaka niya ako tinignan ng maayos.

"Don't be, Sevi. Hindi mo na kailangan sisihin ang sarili mo, pinapatawad na kita." I looked at her, shocked. I cried harder as I just bowed to her. How could she forgive me this easily?

"H-how... How could you forgive me? When I was the one who killed you?" Humihikbing tanong ko dito. She once again smiled at me and hugged me. I could feel her... her warmth. I tried hugging her back but failed because my hands slipped away, as if she weren’t really there.

"Alam kong hindi mo ginusto ang nangyari, Sevi. You didn’t know anything." She paused for a bit and removed her hands from hugging me. Pinunasan niya ang luha ko at ngumiti ito sa akin ng matamis. I've missed that smile of hers. "Besides, aren’t you my sweet baby brother? Of course, I’ll forgive you." Malambing na sambit nito. I chuckled after hearing what she said. I'm only 5 minutes younger than you, you know?

"I-I'm really sorry—" I wasn’t able to continue what I was going to say when she suddenly interrupted me. She glared at me and crossed her arms.

"Didn’t I tell you earlier that it’s fine!? Gosh! Stop apologizing, it’s so not like you. Tsaka kapag ganyan ka palagi, mumultuhin kita! Don’t test me," maarte nitong saad tsaka tinaasan ako ng kilay. She sighed and looked at me sadly.

"Sevi... please... promise me one thing." Tinignan ko siya habang patuloy na umiiyak.

"Anything... I-I’ll do anything for you," sambit ko dito at ngumiti itong muli sa akin bago niya halikan ang aking noo.

After she did that, I looked up to face her. Tumutulo ang luha niya ngunit imbes na nalulungkot ang itsura nito ay masaya itong nakangiti sa akin habang nakatingin sa akin.

"Smile for me." Was the last thing she said before she disappeared.

Her body was fading, as if she were a paper dissolving in water. I ran after her to hug her, but I couldn’t touch her. I looked at the floating fragments of her as they slowly disappeared from my sight, leaving me all alone.

I looked up to the sky and saw how beautiful the sun was. It was just like her—warm and kind-hearted. I smiled while continuously looking at the sun.

"I promise. I’ll always smile for you, Savannah," I lightly mumbled at tuluyan ng tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilang tumulo.

"Thank you, Sevi..."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Has it been a year since that day? Ang bilis naman talaga ng panahon.

I'm already 1st year college at although not totally, I can say that I've moved on from her death. Ang tagal nadin kasi nun, I think it's already time that I let her go. Malay mo mareincarnate pa siya.

I loved her, that's true. Pero as a brother lang, no more meanings.

"Sevi!" Dinig kong sigaw ni Mom sa labas ng kwarto ko.

"Palabas na po!" Sigaw ko kay Mom pabalik uoang marinig ako nito. Dali-dali naman akong nagsuot ng polo shirt bago tuluyang buksan ang aking pintuan.

Pagbukas na pagbukas ko ng pintuan ay pagmumukha niya ang sumabad sa aking harapan.

Agad namang kumunot ang aking noo nang makita ko siya.

My other sister, no rather than a sister, she is just my parents' daughter who got adopted to replace my dead sister.

"Calliope." May bakas na inis ang tono kong tinawag ito.