Impaler

Secret

Angelina was in the servants' quarters, but the female servants still had not arrived. Sorina was by her side, but the adolescent knew her friend was worried sick about the infant boy. She was told by her friend what she did to have the child live and had mixed emotions. The adolescent believed that the child would have been better dead, but the child was innocent, but Angelina believed the opposite. The silence felt agonizing to Sorina, and she tried to get Angelina to speak, but it was useless. "Angelina, I will take my leave. I see you need time alone, but I hope you will have the confidence to confide in me whenever you need me."

Sorina stood and walked out to clear her mind. Once out of the room, she noticed Ioana. "L-Lady Ioana!" The older woman noticed Sorina but said nothing. "Lady Ioana, Angelina is in the room, distraught. Lady Minah strangled Angelina but I was there to stop her from killing her." The older woman stopped in her tracks but didn't look at her. "I-I laid my hands on her and I know there will be consequences for me, but I couldn't let her hurt Angelina!"

It was silent between them, but Ioana sighed. "You did nothing wrong, Sorina. I am proud that you gathered your courage and did the right thing. Lady Minah is distressed and will need time to heal." The older woman slowly faced Sorina. "Whatever happens, I will defend you. Now go along." She watched as Sorina walked away, and once out of sight, Ioana entered the room where Angelina was seen sitting on her bed. The older woman slowly walked toward Angelina until she stood beside her. "May I sit?"

Angelina flinched as she noticed Ioana. "Oh, uh, sorry! I didn't realize that you were here!"

"You have much on your mind, so I cannot blame you." Ioana noticed the marks on Angelina's neck. "Sorina also told me what Lady Minah did to you. How are you feeling at the moment?"

"I-I don't know what to think anymore. So many things happened, and I can't help but feel terrified. Terrified of whether or not my decisions are the right ones." Angelina looked at Ioana. "How is the baby? Is he okay?"

"He is well. He is with a family who will gladly care for him. They will be paid handsomely." The two were silent again, and Ioana looked at Angelina, who looked thoughtful. "I thought this would bring you joy since you fought for the child's well-being. Are you having second thoughts?"

Angelina flinched. "N-No! It's just that...well..." She sighed while scrunching parts of her hair. "I don't know what to think! I-I didn't want that child to be killed for something he never had control over! Yet, did I do the right thing!? Will he have a good life without being looked as a monster!?" Guilt overwhelmed her as she thought about the infant boy and the unfortunate circumstances of being born in a violent era. Also, the family the child was given to were being paid to care for the child. Would he truly be loved?

Ioana looked at Angelina; she knew the young woman doubted her decision. She couldn't blame Angelina, but her acts were still admirable. "It is normal to have doubts, but I know that what you did was for the care and love of human life. Even with all the child's deformities, you showed him love and mercy where his mother and father did not." The older woman gently patted Angelina's head. "You did more of god's work than Vlad himself."

"I-I didn't do this to do god's will, Ioana. There are times I wonder if god exists at all. I mean, why would god allow such suffering for some people while others live in peace?"

If someone else heard Angelina's questions, it would mean death. Ioana knew this, but she couldn't fault the young woman. It was a question that many people had but were afraid to ask. "There will never be an answer for such questions, young one. There are times when I question why god does things. Then, I come to the conclusion that god is cruel." Ioana eventually stopped patting Angelina and was silent for a moment. "I'm going to tell you something that I never told anyone, but you will promise me not to tell it to no one."

This caught Angelina's interest; she gave her elder her attention. "I promise. I will take it to the grave."

"I know people will say that death is a better option for the child, but they judge what they see and not what they know within. I was once in your position; I had to make a certain decision regarding a child, my child."

Angelina was aghast. "Wh-What? Y-Your child? D-Does that mean-!?"

Ioana nodded as she looked down on the floor. "My family were servants for Vlad's family for many years, and we eventually received recognition for our loyalty. We were spared from doing too many hard duties, but unfortunately, it came with a price." Angelina noticed that Ioana bit her lip as if she tried to refrain from crying. "I caught the attention of a particular nobleman, and I was sixteen when I became pregnant, although it wasn't my choice."

"Oh, Ioana..."

"I told the father of my child about my pregnancy, and he threatened to have me killed, but his wife stopped him. She had a few miscarriages and believed that she wouldn't be able to conceive any more children. An agreement was made that I would give my child to the nobleman's wife where she would raise my child."

"And...did you want to give your child away? Did you know what happened to your child?"

"I didn't want to give my baby to the family, but I was sixteen, penniless; I would've been killed if I didn't. When I gave birth and gave my baby away, I was permitted to see my child once in a while, but I had to keep my lips closed."

It pained Angelina to see Ioana so fragile when she spoke about the secret she had kept for so long. The young woman couldn't imagine the pain of giving her baby to another woman to raise. "D-Does your child know the truth about you?"

Ioana shook her head. "No, and it's best that I don't speak the truth. It will only cause a stir. Do you know why I am telling you this?" Angelina shook her head; the older woman gently held her right hand. "It is because I realize you and I are very much alike. The only difference is that you hold more courage than I. You also give me hope that change can happen. I know you are afraid, but you shouldn't doubt yourself too much; believe in yourself. That will help you survive this place. Understand?"

"Y-Yes."

"Good. I must also inform you that you will meet with the Voivode tonight. We will follow protocol as we previously did so." Ioana stood up from the bed. "I will pick you up tonight. Until then." The older woman left the room and closed the door behind her. She then put her hand over her heart; it was rapidly beating. Ioana finally told someone her secret that she kept for so long; it felt liberating.