The Burnout Stories

Mckenna "the slow one"

„You are pretty bad at this, no?"
no word leaves her mouth.
„Like honestly, you are dumb. How can someone be so slow? That's embarrassing you know?"
be strong, mommy always says
„I will be great at this, just you wait!"
„...and when? When will that be Mckenna"
„I-"
she's shaking her head, desperation in her face
„You. Are. Not. Trying. Hard. Enough!"
„Do it again, and now think Mckenna. Tell me the answer to this question? And do not think to much, you literally just have to add this amount of apples to this amount and you're done. If you answer wrong again, you will sit here for a much longer time. And if you want it that way, don't you dare complain when I call you dumb. Cause you are - This is not hard, so show me that you know what you're doing. Show me your intelligence"
her big eyes are starting to fill with salt water. She's almost on the verge of breaking, her tears rushing forward.
„ANSWER ME"
one tear, to tears, then three
it's 11? no ten? no, no.. it must be 7? Right? Is it? Hello? Brain? Is there someone? Can someone hear me? Come help me please if there is? It has to be 11, no? But what id it's not? I don't know.. I don't know.. please. Somebody.. please...
„7"
rage. pure rage. The heat on McKennas face is spreading. Mommy sent a slap through her face, and it's burning. It's burning so bad
„RIGHT ANSWER, NOW. Or you'll get another one. I KNOW you know the right answer, TELL ME"
„I- I don't know I-"
slap
An ocean of tears is running through her face now, and now she is the one that is raging inside. Mckenna is raging. I HATE HER. I HATE MY MOTHER. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO ME. WHY WON'T DHE HAVE PATIENCE? DOES SHE HATE ME?
so many questions at a time, so much pain and confusion
-
Fear.

„11"
„The answer is eleven"
the snot is dripping from her nose now, her face wet with salty tears
„Good! Was that so hard Mckenna? I knew you were just acting. Maths won't eat you, stop being fearful. If you don't want to get slapped, give me the right answers. Hear me"
she nods her head and so they continue with the homework. Hours of crying and pain follow, until Mckenna doesn't cry as much anymore. She holds the pain inside - Making it a challenge for her to hold onto the pain until she physically can't take it anymore, and breaks. That's the only situation she will allow herself to cry because of this. That's the task she has given herself to overcome the pain and trauma. For this matter at least