blessed - cursed | jakehoon

i. the garden of dreams

Summer nights are an ecstasy from the torturous day, but Sunghoon would very much prefer the seasons skip to the icy cold blaze of winter. Only snow storms and frostbite can revive him from the dizzying condemnation that is summer.

"Master Sunghoon is ill and has asked to cancel all appointments for the next three days."

His scurrying aids had left him alone on his order. The four corners of the room were anointed with air coolers while he slept in a cool linen bed.

Yet, he melts.

He once turned a room into a freezer but in less than two days he caught a terrible flu so the family doctor with the strange accent prohibited him from indulging in such dangerous practices ever again. And that if Sunghoon so longed to engage in such frosty ecstasy, he would have to wait till the first autumn leaf touched the ground.

Full of analogy the doctor was. But Sunghoon was used to his weird accent. The man had been with him for too long for his methods, and his beliefs, as a stranger.

"My poor baby. Mommy can't skip her work but I'll call every hour to check up on you. And if you need anything you can just tell your sister or Minwoon, okay?"

"It's just a cold, Mom. I'm not even coughing and it's just a mild headache so I'll be fine." Sunghoon tried reasoning with his overly concerned mother.

The woman insisted, persisted and kept repeating herself until he had to remind her of the traffic and she eventually forced herself to leave. Sunghoon finally felt at ease. Now. he could be as sick as he wanted without having his mother nag and eat away at his consciousness every five minutes.

I'll be fine by tomorrow. I know it. He said to himself and drifted off to sleep.

Sunghoon had a dream. He was in a beautiful garden; roses, sunflowers and tulips were most vivid in his eyes. The garden was big and as he looked around he could see a small silhouette bent under a tree a few distances away.

A little boy he'd never seen before. But why on earth was he dreaming about strange children? Sunghoon intended to find out. And the kid was looking desolate as he hunched on the ground and hugged his knees doing nothing but wearing a sad expression. 

Can I even talk in this dream? Sunghoon slowly walked towards the boy.

The boy did not look up even when Sunghoon was a step beside him. Maybe he can't see me… Sunghoon was now full of doubt. But oh well, here goes.

"Hello," he began a bit awkwardly.

The boy looked up. Sunghoon was taken aback. Oh, so he can hear me!

"Did he send you to find me?" the boy asked. Upon a closer look, he was a pretty child with round eyes, round cheeks and curly brown hair.

"Who?"

"Me in the real world. Seeing as you don't know, I guess not." And the boy tucked his chin under his arms and looked sadly away.

Ah! Am I sharing a dream with someone? Sunghoon looked around confusedly.

He brought himself to sit down beside the boy and began as gently and kindly as he could, "Were you expecting someone?"

The boy shook his head, buried between his knees.

Sunghoon smiled. What a strange dream—he felt so ominous and relaxed. I wish my dreams are always this peaceful. As for this kid…

"My name's Sunghoon. What's yours?"

The boy looked surprised. "You shouldn't give away your name easily. What if I was a bad person?"

Sunghoon was internally awed. How adorable! "Oh, um, my apologies. I'll be careful from now on."

The boy seemed satisfied by his answer. "My name is Jaeyun."

"Jaeyun. It's a nice name."

The boy smiled. "Thank you."

"So, why are you here Jaeyun?"

Jaeyun suddenly became downcast again. "I'm waiting for someone."

Sunghoon did not reply instantly. He thought back to the boy's question when he first arrived. "Are you waiting for you in the real world?"

Jaeyun nodded. He looked like he was about to cry any moment now.

"Why are you waiting for…him?"

Jaeyun did not answer.

Sunghoon did not want to pressure the kid because if he started crying he wouldn't know what to do, so he quickly changed the topic. "It's beautiful here."

"It's my mom's garden. Well, at least that's what it's supposed to be."

"What does that mean?"

Jaeyun pursed his lips, refusing to talk again.

What a sad kid. "How did I get here, Jaeyun?"

The boy shook his head. "No idea. I often get random strangers in my realm, but they get scared of me so they run away and never return. You're the first to stay this long."

"I reckon that's a good thing?"

A small smile appeared on the boy's lips. He bopped his chin and said, "mmh. I don't like it when they're scared so I'm very grateful…hyung."

Hyung… Now Sunghoon's hell bent on knowing. "Were you left behind Jaeyun?"

Obviously, him pressing for answers meant more sadness for the boy. "Yes. But I was never promised to be found again so…this is all just my futile hope."

"This dream?" Sunghoon almost regretted asking. But he had to know, for the kid's sake.

Jaeyun nodded. "I'm unlovable both in this realm and the real world. I wouldn't be this lost if I were happy at least in the real world. But I guess not."

A lingering spirit? No. Perhaps a memory.

"I think I can help you, Jaeyun." The boy looked up with wide eyes. Sunghoon added, "You see, my family has a history with the occult. I myself have seen and dealt with things that are out of the mortal realm so…I believe I can help you."

"Is your family exorcists? Shamans? Sorcerers?"

Truly, he was truly just a kid. Sunghoon smiled down warmly, "Something like that."

"Wow. Your house must be so darn cool!" the boy exclaimed, wide-eyed and awestruck.

Sunghoon did not rebuke his wonders. "Can you tell me what you are like in the real world? Where do you go to school? Where do you live? What do you like?"

Jaeyun became sad again, startling Sunghoon who had calculatively worked up his way to easen up the boy.

"People call him Jake, even father does. He goes to Seoul university and lives in the dormitories. He likes…" Jaeyun glanced up warily, hesitant. But when he saw Sunghoon's warm and expectant face, he continued. "He likes physics, maths, singing and…and boys."

The kid finally teared up.

Oh… So that's where all the sadness came from.

"Hey, don't cry." Sunghoon initiated the hug, burying the sobbing boy between his arms as he gently pats his head.

"It is a disgrace."

Oh, Lord. "No, little buddy. Your nature and birthright isn't a disgrace." Sunghoon carefully tore himself away from the boy. Staring into those pearly eyes, he says, "if this makes you sad in both realms, do you want me to make you happy? Make him happy?"

Jaeyun looked confused.

Sunghoon added, fumbling. "Ah, you see, um, I like boys too. I mean, both boys and girls. And I'm not ashamed of it because I know many people who are queer, happy and accepted. Sure there's always a rotten leaf among the bush but not everyone is bad… If you are unhappy in the real world—surrounded by bad leaves—I'll be the gardener that'll rescue you. Okay?"