A Hunters Heart

Soul Searching

Sam entered the library to find his brother flipping through an old book.
"Hiding from Cas?" Sam asked offhandedly .
"Am not!" Dean looked offended, but blushed all the same.
"Alright, whatever you say." Sam scanned the shelves of books for the one he was looking for.
"What's up?" Dean asked.
"I just got off the phone with Kevin and he said there's a book in her that can help us. It's titled in latin, but most of it is in Enochian. I remember cuz it was one of the books I asked Cas to translate, but he never got around to it..." Sam trailed off as he reached for a book with a thick tan spine that was stained from old age. After looking at the cover for just a minute, Sam knew that this was the book he was looking for. "Got it, come on." The brothers left the library and met up with Lexi in the hall. "I've got something that could help us, but we need Cas." The three of them surprised Castiel in the large room they had left him in. He was at one of the tables looking tired, but perked up as soon as the hunters entered the room.
"Cas, you remember when I was trying to get you to translate some of the Enochian books?"
"Yes, I remember."
"I'm gonna need your help translating this one." Sam put the book in front of Cas as they all sat down at the table.
"'Standing at Hells Gate'," Castiel read the title in English, then opened the book. He was immediately blown away at how much there was, all in enochian. "This may take a while..." he trailed off as he cradled his head with his hand.
"What's wrong, Cas?" Sam asked.
"Angel radio just got very loud."
"Yeah," Sam continued, "didn't you say it was louder when we're all together?"
"Yes."
"What are they saying?" Lexi asked. She was still cautious around the angel, but was more than a little curious about his kind.
"The same saying over and over again, it's merely louder now. 'Grace. She will save us.'"
"That's it!" Sam hollered. "We could ask the angels for help!" Castiel seemed to focus very hard on what he was hearing.
"That's all they say. When I ask what they mean, they simply say it louder."
"Well, the first part seems pretty obvious, they need an angel's grace." Dean spoke, trying to get down to business. "And that's what's gonna save them?"
"I assume so." Castiel said.
"But then," Sam interjected, " they say 'She will save us.' What if we're looking for an angel named Grace?!"
"I'm not aware of any angel who carries that name." Cas said.
"Wait." Dean said, sitting up straight. His eyes were widening by the second. He had everyone's attention now. He looked directly at Lexi and spoke, "it's you."
"What did I do?" Lexi asked. She had become distracted by the endless shelves of books and wasn't paying attention.
"Tell them what you told me in the car!"
"That I enjoy sunsets and long walks on the beach?"
Sam was visibly confused by this.
"No! Your middle name!" Dean said.
"Oh, my middle name is Grace." Lexi paused, realizing what he was implying, "But, a lot of people are named Grace, it's a pretty common name."
"Cas," Sam interrupted, "Earlier, you told me angel radio was louder with all of us here, what if it's not all of us, what if it's just her."
Lexi's eyes widened as she contemplated what this could mean. "Um..." all eyes were on her, "sorry?"
"No, don't be!" Sam spoke to Lexi, then turned to the rest of the group. Cas looked as though he were doubting that she could be the cause of the sudden clearness of angel radio. Sam continued, "Wait! Kevin!" Castiel only looked more confused at this, "Could a powerful presence make it easier for Kevin to read the tablets?"
"It's possible. It was certainly harder for him to read them in Hell, which is about as far from heaven as one could be."
Dean spoke next. "What are you getting at, Sammy?"
"When I was on the phone with Kevin, at one point he told me it got harder to read the tablet." blank faces all around, "Well, at that same exact moment, I had told Lexi to leave!"
Castiel's face turned somber as he looked towards the huntress.
"Lexi," Castiel spoke, standing, "may I, look at your soul?"
"Um, sure." she responded, as he walked around the table to where she was sitting.
He first tried placing his hand on her forehead as if taking her temperature, but was unable to read anything.
"I'm sorry," he said, "but my grace is fading, let me try again."
Lexi shrugged and closed her eyes, afraid that it might hurt. She felt Castiel's fingers rest on her temples and hands relax on her cheeks.
The winchester brothers were both uncomfortable at the sight of such physical contact. Dean's gaze was now focused on the moment that his Ex was having with the new girl in town. Lexi wasn't so bad, but the way Castiel was touching, no, caressing her face made him a less-than-happy hunter.
Castiel seemed to be having a tough time holding her thoughts. He opened his eyes to try to look deeper, but found that the huntress' eyes were closed.
"Could you open your eyes?" he asked. And, with uncertainty Lexi nodded and obliged. As they darted open, Lexi allowed Castiel entrance into her mind and soul.
The thoughts that whipped around Lexi's head were frozen in time as Castiel walked the corridors of her mind. Searching through her deepest thoughts, Castiel found nothing out of the ordinary. Memories rushed passed as photographs being thrown on a table. Lexi as a young child holding an infant with the help on an out-of-frame adult. Lexi playing in a child's pool with another, much younger girl, both in bathing suits as they played, unaware of the photographer capturing the moment. A young Lexi sobbing as she held her chest, a dark air surrounded her. Three boys, all close to her age, consoling Lexi, who was standing up straight, but a helplessness coated her watering eyes.
All of these were memories, unexplained to Castiel. The angel was about to retract his consciousness back into his own mind when something stopped him. The memories were suddenly swallowed by a bright blue light, congregating in the center of Lexi's psyche. No, Castiel thought, that's not possible. The angel reached his mind towards the blue mass, only to be snapped out of the huntress's mind before he could register the possibilities of what it might be.
Castiel was stuck in a limbo, having been dispelled from the huntress's mind and not yet allowed into his own. His consciousness was held in the air between them, evaluating the situation. Why haven't I been snapped back? he thought. The angel was confused by what was happening, but enjoyed it. Within a few moments of being in his limbo, he felt strong. Stronger than he had in a long time. It was as if he was an electrical device that had been dying, and he had finally found a suitable charger. He was there, charging, for only seconds before Lexi opened her eyes and caused the angel to retreat into his vessel. The strength hit him hard, so when he was safely in his own body, he jolted backwards in his seat.
Lexi and the Winchesters jumped as well, surprised by the sudden movement. A few moments of awkward stares separated the search from the following conversation.
Dean spoke.
"What the Hell was that?!"
Castiel and Lexi looked at each other. Castiel knew exactly what the anomaly in her mind was... and it scared him.