bounded by shadows

chapter : 2

Walking through the bustling streets of Kolkata, my thoughts lingered on the conversation with Mr. Khan and the look of gloom on Rahul's face. What dreams was he clinging to? I didn't know, nor did I care, I took the exam to escape a maths test. Crossing the intersection and threading my way through the one-way street lined with tiny sweets shops, the heady aroma of confections wove its way to my senses. I have always favored sweets over savory, perhaps a subconscious craving born of deprivation—every time Amma and Baba fought, I suffered most from their stubbornness about making food afterward.

Paying the lady 30 rupees, I clenched the paper bag of jalebis and samosas, heading towards the internet café for my part-time job. The café's owner, Ms. Sali, a widow of fifty-nine, greeted me warmly.

"Good evening, Ms. Sali. How's business today?"

"Oo Janaaki beti, I was waiting for you! Did you know Leela's youngest daughter has a Russian boyfriend?"

And thus began the daily gossip. Ms.Sali lost her husband to cancer when she was young and chose not to remarry for her children's sake. Once they found their paths in life, they left her to her solitude in Kolkata. The café was their sole income in those days. Over time, as her children drifted away, she decided to manage it alone. Handing the paper bag to her, I said,

"Who, Radhika?"

"Yeah, her. Looks like she found him on one of those apps on her phone."

"Which one? Instagram?"

"Yes, that one."

"So what's happening now?"

"He arrived last night. There's quite a ruckus at their place," she said, munching on a samosa. Settling down, we continued our chatter.

Entering the living room of my house, I was greeted by the familiar sight of broken vase pieces, a grim reminder of my turbulent life. They hadn't reconciled yet. Walking through the silence of the house, I felt a chill. Though I crave silence, this wasn't the kind I desired. This was the silence of desolation, reminiscent of when my sister left.

"Amma? Baba? Where are you?"

"Hello, Amma?" I called out, panic rising as I searched the empty house. In just five minutes, my mind spiraled. Did they leave me?

"AMMAAA!" Tears welled up in my eyes.

"AMMMAAAA!" The echoing silence was deafening. My legs wobbled, and my throat tightened, choking off my breath. The ghosts of abandonment whispered cruelly.

"They left you. Who would stay with someone as useless as you? That's why your sister left." Collapsing to the floor, I murmured,

"No, they won't leave me. They will never leave me." The itch in my wrist became unbearable. Gasping for air, my consciousness slipped away. I fumbled for my phone. That was the last thing I remember before darkness engulfed me.

When I blinked my eyes open, I found myself in a hospital room. How did I get here? Glancing to my side, I saw Beegum. What was she doing here?

"Beegum," I croaked, my throat dry, "what are you doing here?"

"You're awake! Let me call the doctor."

"It's okay. Tell me, what are you doing here?"

Sitting down beside me, she began, "I heard about the scholarship and wanted to talk to you about it. I called, but you didn't answer. I thought you were ignoring me like you do every time. Malik agreed to drop me off at your place for the night."

"Malik, your older brother? Wasn't he away for business?"

"Yeah." She hesitated, as she always did when talking about him after he left. "Actually, he's here. He was the one who helped me get you here."

Malik Sha was my first love. We met when we first moved here. Beegum, being my best friend, often facilitated our meetings whenever she stayed over at my place or vice versa. He was always there for me. On nights when it became unbearable at home, he would come to take me to their place. They were like a second family to me. Over time, our relationship blossomed. Beegum supported us through it all, even when he left. When my sister left, a part of me shattered. She was my anchor, my only hope. Together, we stood against our parents. Her sudden departure left me desolate, and I didn't want to live anymore. Perhaps that's why Malik left me. He didn't see a future with someone so broken. It devastated me. After that an overdose on sleeping pills landed me in the hospital for over a month. Since then, Beegum has been fiercely protective of me. interrupting her

"How did I end up here?" I asked softly.