bounded by shadows

chapter: 9

It was soft yet firm, carrying a weight of years and wisdom. "Janaki Beti, what are you doing?" I turned around only to see nanny, standing in the doorway. The concern in Nanny's eyes was enough to make my resolve waver.

Nanny walked towards me, each step slow and deliberate, her face etched with worry and love. "Come away from there, my dear. Life is precious, even when it feels unbearable." Those words were enough for my façade to crumbled, and running into my nanny arms, sobbing uncontrollably. "I can't do this, Nanny. They're marrying me off without my consent. I feel so trapped. I've lost everything, even the will to live." My lips wobbled

Nanny held me close, her hands gentle yet steady. "Hush, my child. I understand more than you think. Life has a way of testing us, but giving up is not the answer. There is always hope, even in the darkest times." Nanny led me back inside, guiding me to sit down. She wiped my tears with her saree, her touch soothing. "You are stronger than you know, child. This situation, as dire as it seems, is not the end. You have a spirit that cannot be confined by others' decisions. Let's find a way to navigate this together."

I looked into my grandmother's eyes, seeing the determination and love there. For the first time in days, I felt a glimmer of hope. "But what can I do, Nanny? They've already made all the arrangements. I feel so powerless."

Nanny's eyes sparkled with a resolve that I hadn't seen before. "We will talk to them, make them see reason. You deserve to have a say in your own life. I will stand by you, and we will find a way to change this course. But first, you must promise me you will not harm yourself. Life, despite its hardships, is worth fighting for."

Talking didn't work. Father, a man of unyielding principles, dismissed Nanny's pleas without a second thought. Even Dadda sided with him, their words steeped in the stubborn pride of male ego. "Women should stay under a man," they proclaimed, their voices echoing the age-old chains of patriarchy. "Their place belongs there."

The family stood united against me, their collective judgment pressing down like an iron weight. Tradition and pride, a toxic brew, blinded them to my suffering. The air grew thick with tension, each word a lash, each silence a further condemnation. I stood amidst them, a lone figure in a storm of familial duty and misplaced Honor.

Their words cut deeper than any wound. "Women should stay under a man," they repeated, as if by sheer repetition they could bury my spirit beneath the heavy mantle of their expectations. But their attempts to break me only fanned the flames of my resolve.

In the midst of this cacophony of tradition and authority, I felt a surge of defiance. My heart, though bruised, beat with a fierce determination. The path before me was dark and fraught with obstacles, but within me burned a light that refused to be extinguished. As the night wore on, I felt a newfound sense of determination. my grandmother's presence beside had pulled me back from the brink, reminding me that I am not alone. There was still a fight to be fought, and with Nanny by my side, I knew I had the strength to face whatever lay ahead.

My nanny, with eyes filled with sorrow and understanding, handed me the money needed for the scholarship. This was not just currency but a lifeline, a beacon of hope in the suffocating darkness. With trembling hands, I sent that money to my college in Kolkata, sealing my future with each keystroke. The decision to go to France was born from desperation and a fierce desire to reclaim my life.

The night before my wedding, the house was a flurry of final preparations, the air thick with the scent of jasmine and anticipation. But in the quiet shadows, my heart raced with a different rhythm—one of fear and resolve. Nanny, my ever-faithful guardian, whispered hurried instructions, her wrinkled hands packing a small bag with clothes and essentials. "You must go, my dear. This is your only chance."

As the house slept, unaware of the storm brewing within its walls, I crept out with Nanny by my side, our steps soft yet heavy with purpose. The fairy lights strung up for the wedding now seemed like prison bars, glinting mockingly as I made my escape. Each step away from that house was a step towards freedom, but also a step laden with heartbreak and the weight of the past. As we near the car that my nanny arranges for me, I heard soft meowing coming from cages on the sides of the house, its juju, as I walk towards her cage to say a good bye.my heart ached at the site her cage the one covered with fluffy blankets is shredded to pieces she looks exhausted ,her food bowl empty looks like they forgot feed her. My legs stood rooted to the ground, immovable from the sudden sight, as if the earth itself had wrapped tendrils around my ankles, holding me captive in that moment. The world around me seemed to blur, the scene before me crystallizing with painful clarity. I can't leave her here; they will hurt her when they find out I am gone. With the sudden declaration, reaching for the small bag I took out the small blanket that nanny had packed me opening the I scooped her into my arms when the sudden warmth engulfed, she immediately snuggles to the blanket in my arms.

With one final look back at the place that had been both home and cage, I clutched Nanny's hand. "Thank you," I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. Nanny's eyes glistened with unshed tears, but she nodded, her resolve unwavering.

The night air was cold against her tear-streaked face, but it also carried the promise of a new beginning. I get in the car, as I vanished into the night, I looked behind seeing nanny waving and her the world that once had tried to confine my spirit.