Leaves, Seasons, and Dead Trees (BxB)

23. - Go (Too) Hard or Go Home

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"I think she fears I'll be a servant to my history
Or worse, a slave to someone else's misplaced doubts
So I try too hard to kill what's out to kill me
'Til I'm blind and hiding in the lion's mouth"

- "Bees" by The Ballroom Thieves -

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For old readers: made a bit of (in)significant changes REGARDING pre-law, because now Matty, Quinlain, Tyson, and Foster ARE Political Science students, with Tyson and Foster the only ones taking concentrations in Pre-Law . For a simple explanation, look at the header in Chapter 19.

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Samuel

It's instinctive for babies to cry at the slightest sense of discomfort. Unable to articulate their feelings, they rely on tears as their primal form of communication. Be it pain, anger, or even the most basic needs like hunger or a wet diaper, crying serves as their universal plea. Natural, even.

But as they mature, crying becomes something else: a release. A disjointed plea for understanding in a world that seldom listens but always shouts. Not a weakness; nor is it a strength. And they say silence speaks volumes, but why do countless silent cries remain unheard?

Because the world buzzes with distractions, drowning out the quiet suffering of those who don't raise their voices enough. Everyone clamors to be heard, but only the loudest wins. The rest? They either fade into the noise or lose their voices altogether. In a world that never truly stops giving its inhabitants a second to rest, crying gives that illusion of rest. The needed release.

But when Matty's sad, his tears never seem to come.

Having become Matty's roommate for more than a year, I've never seen him this vulnerable. Stripped of his extroverted party persona. At first, I thought it was Iris, but it seems he's shutting her out too. She even messaged me about the dog through my DM. Apparently, Matty and Iris were supposed to have a dinner date the day after that ill-fated night at the club with Quinlan and his other friends. Whatever is happening to that dog, it's changing him in ways I did not see coming.

A week has passed since he withdrew from his friends (including me), even skipping classes. Depression? Perhaps, but there's more to it. Every reason is causal. When I gaze into his eyes, I see not just sadness, but a man weary beyond measure.

What is he tired of? I can't exactly pinpoint it, but I can't idly stand by. It's like being left in the dark, reminiscent of the time I shut him out when he tried to talk to me. The bottom line? It's frustrating and downright painful.

This afternoon, I slip out of our apartment to meet with Quinlan, leaving Matty immersed in his laptop and video games. Quinlan must know something. As much as I hate to admit it, he wasn't drunk that fateful night. He deliberately stayed sober, watching over Matty. In fact, he was the only one not imbibing.

After taking the bus, I arrive at the campus dorm where Quinlan still rents for his second year. I knock on his door, and it doesn't take long for the dragon to open it. His first expression when he sees me is unimpressed.

I sigh, fully aware of what that look signifies. "Look, I'm sorry for the accusations." I avert my gaze away, guilt gnawing at me. "I was just worried about him."

The dragon sighs. "It's fine. And understandable." He opens the door wider, stepping aside. "Come in, I'll tell you what I know."

After settling onto his couch, we cut to the chase. Quinlan confides that Matty keeps him at arm's length, just like everyone else. But as Matty's classmate and one of his P-Law buddies, Quinlan enjoys a privileged glimpse into his life, something I lack as his roommate, despite being his friend.