𝐛𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐞 | 𝟏𝟖+

25.

antheia

life and death.

two scariest things in everyone's life. the decision to live, save lives, create a life and the decision to die, kill, or watch someone die. its always a cycle; a big circle of coming into this world and leaving it. sometimes its a choice or sometimes its not a choice. I watched my mother die, then I watched many more people also die but it was never my choice. the choice of mine I have to deal with and possibly keep making being with the two men who took me in. I can feel the urge to just do it, the excitement to have that power they say it fills you with. am I a bad person? honestly, its a very possible chance I am but I've learned to cope with it same as I cope with anything. gardening, as I prefer to call it.

the first inhale is always like a breath of fresh air coming out of water as funny as it is. I actually prefer mushrooms if you know what I mean but this is working the same I suppose. sighing i start thinking again, as ive done non-stop the past time ive been given this choice. 

the man deserves it, he's the monster, I'd be doing the world a favor taking him out of it. also though this will change my entire life along with my best friends life so is it really worth it? I'd be giving up our freedom to the Mafia Antonio and nickolas control. ive made up my mind already but it still doesn't change the fact I have many doubts about it all.

I'm so lost in my hazy thoughts while hitting the bong I don't see a figure emerge in the doorway of my balcony. "so the little vixen smokes weed." a deep voice rings out through the silent air startling me. quickly grabbing the bong I was about to drop from the surprise.

"antonio, I swear if you made me drop this I will cut your balls and hot clue them to your nostrils." I threaten him, while hugging my bong to my chest. 

"such hostile words from such a small girl." he chuckles deeply. the asshole decides to sit across from me and smirk at me.

"is there something you need?" I ask huffing.

"I just came to discuss the plan for your mission." he smirks like he knows I'm feeling the rush to do it. I feel like such a horrible person for feeling excited to end a human beings life. even if he did take so much away from me like the monster he is.

"we've been discussing it for 2 days. I need a break." I groan and take a rip from the bong. I feel his eyes watching me every move. my every inhale of the glorious mind medicine and the exhale of it. the heat from his stare burns through me, I hate it but love it.

"tsk tsk tsk. little vixen," he tuts and chuckles, "if you're going to be in this life then you need to realize not a moment goes by where we don't discuss an upcoming mission. there's no room for mistakes in this life. you'll learn that quickly. " he raises a brow now with an serious expression. 

"I'm going to go to his grimy little trap house. walk in looking like a tramp. catch his attention. seduce him and then take my gun with the silencer and look him in the eyes as I pull the fucking trigger." I slowly go over the plan we've discussed multiple times already, my teeth gritting whenever I say the seducing part. for whatever reason I notice Antonio's body tense up as I say it too. 

"why him?" he questions still tense.

"what?" I ask taken back by his sudden question.

"the choice, kjax Torrence. why did you pick him?" he elaborates his question. I suck in a breath at his name.

"kjax Torrence has only took, its my turn to take something from him." I say staring directly into his eyes, my voice breaks and my breath hitches. the flashbacks start and I try pushing them out of my mind. I will not break Infront of Antonio. I refuse.

"care to explain what that means." its meant to be a question but the way he says it, its clear he means it as a statement telling me to open up about what that devil did.

"not really." I say and stand holding my bong. "now if you don't mind, I'd like to get some sleep." I sigh and walk him waiting for him to leave.

Antonio looks as if he contemplating leaving, but eventually he nods once and stands. strolling to the door his dominant aura has my eyes trailing his every step towards my bedroom door. he abruptly stops infront of the door with his back still towards me turning his head slightly to speak over his shoulder towards me,

"I'd rather you tell me what he's taken from you than me find out later, little vixen, because if I figure it out before then...well the mission wont be possible without the target still alive. I'm a man with many talents. information and killing under the radar are my talents. it will do you good to remember that, doll." he says then walks out my bedroom. I'm breathless staring at the spot where he stood.

hi pretty whores! I knowww its been forever, I'm sorry. life is fucking crazy guys. lets just say I've been going through it baddd. but I've been reading a lot of books on Kindle and have a lot of inspiration for steamy scenes so yay. ALLSOOO DOES ANYONE READ ON KINDLE? I HAVE SO MANY RECOMMENDATIONS ID LOVE TO SHARE SO PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU DO!!! also comment what genre and tropes you love reading!!! like and follow for more updates, all the comments you guys leave literally is the only motivation I have to keep going so thank you. -e