never be yours |yungi

2...pop the question

8:02pm | mingi

I couldn't stop looking in his direction, it was almost like he was metal and my eyes were magnetic. Oh how I love yunho. everything about him is perfect. how does one look so heavenly while simply doing everyday tasks? I watched his every move while the taller skillfully moved around the kitchen, his sweater sleeves rolled up to the crease in his arms, the fringe of his hair sticking to his forehead as it was fairly hot in the house or maybe it had just been heated in the kitchen. his glasses rested peacefully around his eyes, the thin frame complimenting him better than my thicker ones on my own.

my day dream was soon interrupted as a plate slide in between my arms that rested on the island in the kitchen. " eat up, we can talk when you're ready ", and god did his lips look hypnotizing at the moment. I never knew I'd think this way about a boy, specifically yunho, he was just way out of my league. In response to his statement I nodded my head and dug into the food sitting before me.

we ate in silence, more like I did because all yunho did was pick at the small portion he had given to himself, occasionally taking a bite every other poke. why was I so desperate to eat, why couldn't I slow down like he did, was this why I was as big as I am ? I couldn't stop thinking about it as I continued to eat. no effort was made on my end to slow down as I was caught up in my own comparison battle with yunho as the competition. he was probably wondering what I was thinking though, I noticed how he turned his attention to me after playing with the food.

" are you okay yun ? " I questioned although I don't think I had the right, I was pretty bad myself.
" of course gi, I'm just curious about what's wrong with you".
well that's terrific...how do I tell him I'm currently thinking about how great his lips, his hands, his body would feel on mine. his overall existence was an experience I got to live in and loved.
" I was just wondering...have you ever liked a boy ? ".
I saw the way he straightened his back, slightly lowering his head, allowing his oval shaped eyes to peak over the top of his glasses.
" that's new...I have but why ? "
I don't know how to answer that, I had no intentions of snitching on myself but I felt like I should at least answer him honestly.
" well I was just asking in hopes that I wasn't alone "
that was all I could muster without somehow exposing myself although I feel as if I did a bad job. he just nodded in approval before tending to the piled up dishes in the sink. he wasn't one to speak as much as I was, it's probably why we lived in harmony despite still being very different in many aspects.

A shower was well needed between the both of us but yunho was busy so I decided to go first. we had zero problem sharing the bathroom even when it was in use by the other, meaning I saw yunho and every part of him. I couldn't lie it fed my delusion pretty well but I also felt jealous, his proportions were out of this world. a sigh left my lips as I grabbed a towel along with a random graphic tee and plaid pajama pants before completing my trip to the bathroom. upon arrival I set my clothes on the counter before looking up into the mirror.
such a deceptive piece of decoration. I always looked better in the mirror than I did through anything else. it made me feel like a fool anytime I got my hopes up through the sight of a reflection, after all that isn't how the world sees me nor myself so why do we use one ? I find much comfort in it although it is deceiving. I felt like I was reliving a moment I had previously.

I quickly rid of my glasses, placing them in the black case decorated with ducks so me and yunho wouldn't get them mixed up. as soon as I had finished that task, the said boy made his way through the door and copied my actions.
" should I wait or do you mind ? "
I had meant to say I'll wait but my brain and mouth never seem to cooperate..." just join me, it's already late and we have a class tomorrow ".
well golly gee mingi that definitely wasn't suspicious at all after admitting to liking guys not too long ago. I could only close my eyes and let out a silent sigh but his actions told me the idea wasn't that bad...on his end at least. I didn't know how long I eyed him through the mirror as he proceeded to turn on the shower before undressing. I respectfully kept my eyes above his waist, gaining the courage to undress as well since it was just something that was being done in the moment.
" I have no energy to complain and for once you're correct", how dare he ? I use my brain a lot, this wasn't fair. I huffed softly and pushed his shoulder with little force before stepping into the shower under the water. the heat rushing down my body felt almost better than sex in my opinion after an exhausting day. my eyes remained closed as I took in the warmth, feeling refreshed already.
" don't be a water hog, we're in this together for a reason ". holy fuck, his giggle was so attractive that I almost missed how close we were, assuming he wanted to feel the warmth of the water too. all I could do was make space which he immediately took up. we both thought it'd be good to wash away the dirt of the day and might I add it was hard to focus on myself. the soap running down the side of his neck was so distracting, I knew I'd have to stop there. I took it upon myself to leave the shower first, wrapping up in a towel and heading to my room. I would dress in there but I just couldn't, I would have to come back a bit later to finish my nightly routine with no interruptions.

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uhm....I've never written like this before so..