"CAMERON can you please just go to sleep." I tell my son. It's 10:20pm and he has yet to go to bed.
"No! I Want dada." He screams.
"That's gonna be the last time you speak to me in that tone of voice." I say sternly pointing my finger at him.
He begins to throw a tantrum, yelling and all.
"Fine! Don't go to bed." I shout as I exit his room slamming the door behind me in anger. I didn't want to hit him, and if I didn't remove myself from the situation I would have done just that.
Upon closing the door, I slide down the wall, crying as I hit the floor.
I reach for my phone finding Na'zyahs number through blurry eyes.
Once I found it, I called her and put the phone to my ears.
"Hey Shy, wassup?" Her soft voice comes in on the other line.
"Nana I can't do this anymore." I sob, "It's too much, Im feeling too many things at once." I rant truthfully. I commonly cry in frustration but right now I was more than that. Hurt, stressed, annoyed.
"Shy calm down, your just overwhelmed. Tell me what happened." She tells me and I take a few deep breaths.
"Cam won't go to sleep cause he wants Tymir not here and— and he's usually there to help him sleep." I say, choking up tears.
"Im just tired, Nana. Im so fuckin tired." I sigh as tears continue to release themselves from my eyes. "Im tired of the lies, Im tired of Tymir and his bullshit."
"If this is about the other day you can't really get mad at anyone but your own insecurities Shy. I understand what he did in the past but, why bring it up now? You know? While y'all were doing good too." She explains, "So this is realistically you being insecure over that girl, and thats just that. You know it too, thats why you called me so I could tell you what you couldn't tell yourself." She finished and I relaxed myself. She really was telling the truth. And the truth is what I needed. If I needed validation for my actions I probably would've just called my toxic ass mother or something.
"You right but I just don't wanna be out here lookin stupid like I was before." I express.
"And I get that, but like I was saying earlier, ain no reason to revisit the past and get mad over shit you already know Shy. If he not doing it now then there shouldn't be no problems, especially if you yourself decided to get back with him knowing alla shit he did. Just talk to him about how you feelin, Im sure he'll understand." She suggests and I nod, though she couldn't see me.
