As Time Passes By

Chapter four: The wrong way

At the end of Twilight on Friday, the ninth day of December 2022, my damn alarm clock rang on my ears roughly.

I ached with fatigue while I stretched my arms high up to start the day, leading my half awake body to the powder room.

I reached the academy before anyone came to the classroom. I took a one second rest in my table when suddenly, my other best friend, Celine Lagarde, shockingly entered the room.

"Celine?" I tried to get a closer look while her steps echoed the room.
She had been to Spain for so long that she missed many classes.

"Catalina! Oh, I've missed you!" She blurted while she slowly stroked my hair.

As the day ranted on, anxiety ran through my spine while I awaited for Noah back in the academy grounds.

I kept my hands in my hoodie as my feet tapped softly with rhythm.

I don't really understand myself. Why am I so confident about meeting with Noah? I know that I'm in love, but not like, crazy in love with him that I would kneel just to kiss him! Right? But why is this? Do I actually like ACTUALLY  love him?

A few more minutes later, Noah appeared out of nowhere in my sight.
I met his eyes. His lashes were precious like his nose. I kept my feet to the ground while we stood there for a minute. I studied his looks as he finally started to speak. "Noelle." He spoke, his eyes gazing on me. "Let me get this straight, Noah. You're kidding on your message, I know you are -"

"I'm seriously taking that message I said. I'm not kidding, I'm serious about it." He stepped closer to me, our faces just an inch away from each other.

My heart had beaten rapidly as our eyes locked. "Noelle, listen. I'm in love with you, like, really, seriously in love with you. Please, give me a chance with you, I'm desperate for it." He looked at me and begged, his eyes gazing cutely on me.

He is the right one for you. Nama's words echoed on my head, making me crazy. I mean, yeah, I'm in love with Noah. But, I'm not seriously like ready for a relationship with someone, or even him.
But for Nama? I can't even think of saying no to her commands! She holds our wealth and luxuries, and I can't end up like my other cousins who failed to get Nama's expectations.

I stood there for a moment, biting my lips thinking of a right way to answer. "Noah, I-I do like you. But, I'm not like ready for anything? I'm not ready to accept this. I'm so sorry." I hesitated.

Stupidity! My conscience screamed as the words fell to my mouth. That was the dumbest thing I've ever said in my entire life. Seriously.

Naoh looked at me, his eyes screaming like it was the first time he ever got rejected by a girl before.
He stood there for a moment, his eyes locked to mine. He wasn't planning to leave my gaze. Did it really hurt him so bad?
Then, he slowly nodded. His eyes were filled with tears that he forced to not let go. "I understand, Catalina. I understand." He bit his lip and turned around, leaving me there.
The raindrops started to slowly pour onto the ground, and the weather had gotten worse. I gained my strength then took a cab. My disappointment grew bigger inside me, I feel like I'm gonna burst out my anger and stupidity in front of the driver. But it was too late, I rejected Noah, I ruined his reputation of liking me.
I arrived at my safe house at seven o'clock, my mind was exhausted terribly from all the drama I caused. I flung myself onto my great bed and sighed, all scenarios replaying in my head. I messed up, but I have to fix this. Nama would literally kick me out if I fail this task, but I will fight the humiliation I will make in hurrying this up.

The stupidest idea my conscience could suggest me was using Google on how to apologise and fix things up. Stupid, right?

I took five long hours on reciting and memorising my apologies to Noah and making sure that it was perfect!
I used my writing skills to get my plans to the test perfectly. But, whenever I recited it, I felt cringed on myself until I finally got knocked out by all my essays.

Before dawn on the tenth day of December 2022, I rose from my bed and prepared to recite my prayers.
I kneeled on the tiled floor before the cross of Christ and started reciting my prayers.

Negative thoughts ran to me while I tried to focus on my prayers.
I can't understand this:

Why is it like this?

*****
The sacrifice has begun, Obsession will be starting swirling from her feet. The risk of humiliation is catching up.