𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐒 || tsukiyama smoker au

chapter 1.

"𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐄" is what yamaguchi refers to the boy as, the blondie across the street. 

school is finally out for yamaguchi and now he's left alone in his broke down apartment his mom can barely afford. he doesn't blame her, he knows she's trying her best, but not having ac during a heat wave isn't great. 

so he walks down to the river. 

theres his apartment buildings, a parking area, across the street is another set of apartment buildings and it's designated parking area. if you walk down the sidewalk theres a fence, and a small gap that leads to a river. 

as he gets to the river he sees a blonde boy who looks to be around 18, he's tall and he wears glasses. yamaguchi thinks he looks intimidating, but also kinda attractive. 

the boy is smoking a cigarette and notices yamaguchi. 

shit. 

yamaguchi awkwardly sits down and puts his hand in the water, grabbing a nearby rock. he can sense the blonde boy walking closer to him but knows that if he looks over he'll probably combust, so he fiddles with the rock in his hands. 

"i think i live across the street from you," the blonde boy says, sitting down next to yamaguchi. 

"huh, h-how do you know?" yamaguchi curses mentally for stuttering, and looks up to the blonde boy. 

"i've seen you walk home a few times," the blonde boy says as he blows out smoke. the scent of the cigarette lingers in the air and for a bit it grosses yamaguchi out but he learns to tolerate it. the apartment constantly smells like cigarettes anyways. 

"why do you smoke?" shit, another stupid question. yamaguchi looks down. 

the blonde shakes shrugs, holding out the cigarette to yamaguchi. he awkwardly takes it and tries to take a hit, coughing violently. the blonde boy snickers a little, taking it back. 

"you have to inhale," he tells yamaguchi. the green haired boy watches how he does it. the blonde hands him back the cigarette and this time yamaguchi does it right. he smells the smoke strongly again and his words feel stuck in the back of his throat. 

yamaguchi can hear a car over the sound of the river trickling slightly, and he looks back. "shit" he says, standing up. "uhm, i'm yamaguchi, by the way, uhm, bye," he says awkwardly. 

"bye, yamaguchi" the blonde haired boy watches closely as he runs off. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

yamaguchi's mother wasn't awful, no, not awful at all. but yamaguchi knew that she didn't care for her son that much. he was able to get inside the house before she could see him, and when she opened the door he greeted her cheerfully. "hi mom! how was your day?" he would give her his brightest smile for near ignorance in return. 

"it was fine," she would say, tossing her purse onto the counter and walking out to the balcony with whatever alcohol she had brought home that day. 

sometimes it bothered him. sometimes he hated not having a mother figure or a father in his life. sometimes he hated how the smell of alcohol lingered on her breath. sometimes he hated the noises he'd hear late at night, when he was supposed to be asleep, that would turn to arguing in the morning. the noises of another new man his mother hoped would make them financially stable. 

so when his mother went out onto the balcony, yamaguchi dug through her purse in hopes of finding something, anything, to make him feel better. just for tonight. 

he found a pill bottle labeled 'xanax', where had his mom gotten this? it didn't matter. he opened up the bottle and took two of the small pills. 

yamaguchi sat down in his bedroom, and within a few minutes, or maybe longer, his body felt weird. he felt sorta..out of it? if that made any sense. but he also didn't feel like shit anymore, so it was ok. 

he layed in bed until he started to feel miserable again, so he got up and looked out his window. the blonde boy he had met earlier wasn't anywhere he could see. yamaguchi wondered if he'd ever see him again. hopefully. 

he could hear his mom talking to someone. did she bring another guy over? or maybe she was on the phone? he heard that fake giggle of hers and it nearly made him sick. he walked into his bathroom and pulled out the small razor hidden in one of the cabinets. 

this is the last time, he told himself. 

he pulled up his shirt sleeves and looked at all the other scars near his shoulder, pressing the blade down. 

"shit, shit, shit" he whispered. it hurt, but that was why he did it. he looked at himself pitifully in the mirror. the bags under his eyes were darker, his hair was messier, he looked completely awful. 

he dragged the blade across his skin once more, wincing in pain. 

this is the last time. 

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

authors note ;; hihi first chapter!! feels a little forced but idk,, lmk what u guys think <3