Of Life and Death: [A Dark Academia Paranormal Romance]

Chapter 4

I was sixteen when I had my first and last kiss.

Matthew was my dealer turned boyfriend--went to show the caliber of people I held in high esteem. He'd put out the question after we'd snorted three lines of cocaine. Romantic. "Hey." His voice sounded far away to my ears, slurred.

"Yeah?" I returned, tongue feeling like lead.

"Wanna do boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I thought the question was funny.

"What's funny?" His voice was loosely laced with hurt.

"Nothing. The way you phrased..." I trailed off, a wave of lethargy pulling me under. I struggled to break surface, blinking against the dizziness. "The way you phrased that."

"Oh, yeah?" A chuckle. "So what do you say? Be my girlfriend?"

I smiled. "Sure, Matt."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow." A stunned chuckle. "I didn't think you'd say yes. You're so." A gangly arm lifted, making a careless motion in the air. "You're so up here, you know? It's fascinating. You give as good as you get. You know, with all the bullying..."

The what? I blinked against another wave, nodding to regain consciousness. "Yeah, I do that."

At length he said quietly, "I don't think you're crazy, though. Like everyone says."

"Like everyone says," I parroted, not sure what we were even talking about again.

He lit a cigarette. After a long drag, he passed it to me. I placed my lips over where his mouth had been--the closest I've ever come to a kiss--and pulled. Soon after, I broke apart in wracking coughs while he laughed.

"Easy," he said in that careless way, "I thought you'd be used to it. Heard you buy a lot of this stuff, the pills, marijuana, liquid ecstasy and shit. A rich girl with problems." He chuckled. "About as real as a priest with STDs."

I couldn't stop a laugh.

When I'd quieted, he asked in all seriousness, "Why do you do it though? Take all this shit?"

Something in my chest squeezed. Because for a few precious minutes, I didn't see men with fleshy stumps where their heads should have been, I could look over my shoulder and have my mother's words ring true when she'd said Emma, there's no one there...

I forced my shoulder into a shrug. "Same reason why crackheads do, I guess. To create a reality where the current one doesn't exist."

A soft huh. His voice lowered. "We could create a different reality together..." When a cold finger trailed up my arm, I stilled myself from flinching, knowing what was coming. I had to experience it at least once. I needed to know what it felt like to be kissed.

I didn't know how Matt maneuvered his way on top of me, but I spread my legs wider to take in his rangy build. He kissed up my neck, nipping my jaw. Anticipation beat in my chest. When his lips covered mine, I shut my eyes tight.

His mouth moved over mine, sloppy from inebriation. When his tongue made one wet swipe over my lips, I recoiled, but I wound my arms around his neck, determined to make this last.

It ended all too soon. Mathew went still above me.

In frustration, I added pressure to his nape to spur him. The pads of my fingers registered cold flesh.

"What's going o--" My scream pierced through the empty arcade.

I'd seen it all. Smashed skulls, rolling heads, spilled guts, manic men with chainsaws that still had bits of body parts attached to it. But nothing could have prepared me for this. the effects of the coke.