REDAMANCY - Love's Timeless Path

42nd Note

"Do you think Haira will visit me?"

Jagad, hunched over his laptop at a table beside the bed, barely glanced up. His glasses, perched precariously low on his nose from hours spent staring at screens, wobbled with the movement. A sigh escaped his lips as he tapped away at the keys, then finally stopped.

"Kak Haira's very busy," he began with a low voice. "She asks about you all the time, you know. Deep down, she cares. It's not that she's forgotten you..." He trailed off, a helpless shrug accompanying the unfinished sentence. "But right now, I just don't think a visit is possible."

The words hung heavy in the air, a weight settling on my chest that mirrored the one pressing down on my lungs. I offered a single, defeated nod, the movement echoing the flatness of his reply.

"It's no fun being laid up like this. I miss my patients," I muttered, earning a derisive look from Jagad. He knew well my previous complaints, especially the one where I half-jokingly to Wimar, wished to fall ill so Haira would pay more attention to me.

My hand, sluggish and weak, stirred the fragrant depths of the soto Betawi Wimar had procured after my tantrum about the bland hospital fare. I smiled a little. Feel grateful to have friends like the two of them. Not to mention the messages from Agni that kept coming into my phone. Said that she missed being teased.

Mama and Kak Jini had just left after visiting me, their emotional reactions a blend of concern and disappointment. Mama, torn between sympathy for my condition and anger for the situation I had created with Haira, struggled to reconcile her conflicting feelings.

Yes, Mama didn't mince words when she learned about Haira's distress caused by my actions. She made it clear that she wouldn't forgive me if I let this affect our marriage plans. I knew I had messed up, but I was determined to make things right with Haira. Calling off our engagement wasn't even a consideration for me.

I took a spoonful of my soto Betawi and a spoonful of rice in turn before munching on the emping and crackers provided in one package.

"Aren't you eating, Gad?"

He shook his head. "I ate with Giandra earlier, she left some crab soup for you."

I widened my eyes. "The soup that Giandra's mother makes, right?"

Jagad nodded.

"Oh, that's really delicious, I'll eat it later." I continued to eat my food until it was finished, which was then cleaned up by Jagad.

"Get some rest," he rumbled, his voice a low comfort. "Don't worry about anything for now."

I managed a wan smile before nodding. "Truth be told," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper, "I really miss Haira."

"I know, Jen," he replied simply, his gruffness softened by a touch of empathy. "It's only natural, isn't it?" He tossed the trash away with a dull thud. "You know, I'm not great with comforting words, so don't expect any sugar-coated platitudes from me."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, I understand, our friendship isn't always cotton candy and unicorns."

Jagad gave me a mock-disgusted look and then let out a quiet groan. "I believe I have some understanding of what it means to be you now that I've gotten to know Giandra. This all-consuming love, this devotion, burns like a brand on your soul. I thought, finally, I might understand a sliver of the romance you clung to." A bitter twist marred his lips as his gaze met mine. "You were even more hurt because you were madly in love with her decades ago."

I saw my friend. It was like silent affirmation from me about what he said just now when I felt my shoulders trembling little by little, that I somehow felt like he was crying with me.