Human beings experience a natural resistance to the unknown, because it is essentially the ultimate loss of control. This is true even if what’s “unknown” is benevolent or even beneficial to us.
Self-sabotage is very often the simple product of unfamiliarity, and it is because anything that is foreign, no matter how good, will also be uncomfortable until it is also familiar. This often leads people to confuse the discomfort of the unknown with being “wrong” or “bad” or “ominous.” However, it is simply a matter of psychological adjustment.
Gay Hendricks calls this your “upper limit,” or your tolerance for
happiness. Everyone has a capacity for which they allow themselves to feel good. This is similar to what other psychologists refer to as a person's “baseline,” or their set predisposition that they eventually revert back to, even if certain events or circumstances shift temporarily.
Small shifts, compounded over time, can result in permanent baseline adjustments. However, they often don’t stick because we come up on our upper limits. The reason we don’t allow those shifts to become baselines is because as soon as our circumstances extend beyond the amount of happiness we’re accustomed to, we find ways both conscious and unconscious to bring ourselves back to a feeling we’re comfortable with.
We are programmed to seek what we’ve known. Even though we think we’re after happiness, we’re actually trying to find whatever we’re most used to.
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THE MOUNTAIN IS YOU
PoésieTHE MOUNTAIN IS YOU By: Brianna Wiest This is a book about self-sabotage. Why we do it, when we do it, and how to stop doing it-for good. Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, of...
