Teach Me How to Love (New story)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away"

- Revelation 21:4

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Joshua

I started to realize at a young age that life could change at any moment. One minute you could be running along in the park with your parents and the next you could be staring at the depressing wall of a hospital at only 12 years old, holding the hand of your 10 year old brother.

We waited for our parents to wake up but I guess it was too good to be true. I always thought that that car crash that took away my parents lives was a sign that life is short so I have to live in every moment.

But what exactly am I living for?

My grandmother got custody of us and took us in after the incident.

Me and my brother grieved differently in that moment.

My brother, Trey resorted to the church and found his peace there.

Me on the other hand, I felt as if the church couldn't do anything for me. Having all those people look at me and feel sorry for me. I couldn't stand to hear the same things over and over again.

"Are you okay?" They ask. "How you holding up?" They ask.

I wasn't tryna hear all that. So me, I resorted to working, goal getting, being the best "provider" I could be.

After all it was just me, my brother and my grandmother. I felt like I had to step up and become the man of the house.

So that's what I did. At only 12 I felt like I had to prove that life could move on after tragedy and loss.

But who was I kidding?

I found myself at the age of 18 feeling like I was helpless and couldn't stand on my own two feet. I was so young and yet I felt like life had already passed me by.

My grandmother started seeing the signs that maybe I wasn't okay at all.

I learned how to put on a brave face and act like I wasn't bothered but my grandmother used to always say that we couldn't keep anything from her even if we tried. She always knew somehow.

She always told me when I was ready, I could go to church with her and trey. That never happened.

I was so used to doing things on my own that I felt like I didn't need any other source of help but me.

I learned how to suppress my feelings and stay strong for the ones around me. I didn't care about how shutting down made my brother feel or my grandmother.

In his time of need, I wasn't there cause I was too busy being a go getter.

At 18 I entered into college and got my bachelors in business and entrepreneurship. I decided to try my hand in barbering school and came out with a license.

All through those years, I saved up enough to open up my very first barber shop and now at 27, I have one of the most popular barbershops in town.

But I feel like i'm missing something. The motivation is there, the success is there but love isn't. When I thought I had everything figured out, I realized that love was missing.

But how do I begin to search for something I know nothing about?

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Authors note:

At the end of every chapter,

I'm gonna create a safe space to talk and share anything that you guys have been going through.
Maybe ask questions about how life is going, and if you feel comfortable with sharing certain topics that the story covers.

Questions:

1. Have you lost someone/something that meant everything to you and how did you cope with the loss of it?

2. What are areas in your life that you feel could have been handled differently?

3. What's one lesson that life has taught you thus far?