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𝟎𝟐𝟐. 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 💌 𝖿𝗋𝗆 𝗌𝗒𝖽 𝗉𝗈𝗏
you could hear the silverware meeting ends with the white plates, the chatter amongst the other customers, and if you had super hearing you could hear my rapid heartbeat.
my parents sat directly across from me, they weren't on the facetime, on a call or messaging me miles away... they were right here. a little piece of me was happy that they were here but other part of me knew that weren't gonna be here for an while.
i played around in the broccoli cheddar soup slowly losing my appetite as i watched the closely. we haven't said anything since we've arrived but an simple greeting of hi and hello.
"stop playing with your food nicole", my mother scolded me. she was the only one who called me by my middle name and that's when i started to hate the name because it never meant good when it came out of her mouth.
i cleared my throat and left the spoon alone leaning back in the warm red booth, i wish paige was here but then again her being here would probably only make this meeting worse.
"ew fix your posture", my mother scolded me again and i instantly sat up straight. my father sighed as he stopped cutting into the thick meat of steak, "can you please leave the girl alone michelle", my father pleaded.
my mother hummed waving him off taking an bite out of her salad and i started to wonder how we got here, how i became the most unloved duaghrer in the world when everything I've ever done was for the sake of my parents happiness... and maybe that's when i went wrong. maybe if i had chosen me first and stood my ground from the very beginning.
"so sydney, you invited me and you mom here to talk", my dad started. "and we're here so talk, we're listening", he said in an soft tone.
it was never my dad from the start but when a guy was in love an woman saw that as an weakness and quickly makes them their bitch, and that's what my dad was an bitch underneath my mother red bottom heel.
"i-i thought it would good to have an face to face talk about us", i say and my mother scoffs. "there's no us, you didn't choose this family so it's just me and your dad", she spat at me with anger all in her voice.
i was sick and tired of being painted as the bad guy, "I didn't choose this family??? are you serious", i titled my head at her with an disgusted look on my face because this couldn't be the woman whom read me books every night until I turned 10, the woman whom had girls night with me painting my nails and gossiping about her days and the woman whom I called my mother.
"YES", she yells, my father places an hand onto her shoulder signaling her to calm down. "ALL", I pause taking a deep breath lowering my tone. "all I ever done is chosen this family, everything i ever did was for this family...but I think the mistake is calling us an family because god knows water is thicker than blood", I spat back at her.
"you're pathetic, running around that damn girl, dropping out of your business management class and dumping Brandon, you're an disgrace", her eyes were filled with disappointment.
i chuckled bitterly shaking my head as i look over at my dad who tried his best to avoid eye contact with me, "dad look at me", i demanded and he sighs looking at the napkin fiddling with in bouncing his knees up and down the table, "look. at. me", i demanded once more.
he looked up from the napkin and you could see the guilt in his eyes, the slight water of tears filling his eyes before an tear slapped against his face. "I-im so sorry sydney... I can't believe i let this get so far", he apologized but for some reason it didn't feel real.
it was like he was sorry he was put into his situation but not because i was in the situation. "keep your damn sorry, you sit here and let her treat me like this like a fucking coward because that's what you are... that's what both of you are... i wished that you both can be an ounce of a parent", I say throw in the cloth napkin onto the table.
"this was stupid, to sit down and talk to you face to face... you don't get it and you never will. i loved you more than anything even if i was losing myself to love you... i did because you're my parents and you were all I had but now i got paige, eden and all my friends. im a good person and good people do-", i start to tear up. "and good people don't deserve this", i finish wiping my tears away.
there was an silence as they looked away in shame, my heart felt empty letting all my feelings loose because for the parents 21 years all my heart was filled with was my love for them.
for some reason I thought this would lift an weight off my shoulders but it didn't, it felt more heavier than ever because as much as i wanted to forgive them and move on I couldn't.
"Paige is a good girl to me, she loves me, care for me, she makes me laugh, she brighten my days, she's smart, an good athlete, she's very chaotic at times but I love it, she's understandable, always by my side, she kisses me on my temple almost an million times a day to replace the kisses you gave me when I was a kid dad and yeah sometimes she makes me cry but it's never a bad cry it's all an good cry... so im okay... ill be okay without you guys", i say.
I never realized how much paige had became my person. she became someone i depended on and someone i worked harder to be, with Paige I was somebody, I was everything and I could be anything.
all I needed was her.
having this talk with my parents didn't ended up how I imagined it but now i know it's for the better.
💌 𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟢𝟤𝟤， 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋．
𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗋 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 chapter a lil deeeep, sorry girly pops happy America day (fuck America)
