13 Apr. 14:00 a.m.
São Paulo
Bru: Welcome to the third Formula 2 race at the new São Paulo circuit in the Brazilian Grand Prix!
Rav: Yes f_ck, can we do without that, eh?
Gut: Shall I bang your head with the steering wheel to shut you up?!
Rav: You're the leaders of the Constructors' Cup, why do you need a steering wheel? 😂
Can: Broni , don't listen to him. We'll see now, Raven, who's going to be faster!
Rav: It'll be easy! Mod!
Modesto Linger - Lin.
Lin: What do you want?
Rav: I've got a plan for you to win.)
Lin: Oh, come on! (whispering)
Bru: The lights are going out and we're going into battle!
The Range, starting from second position, had passed pole-sitter Johannes Sparx before the first corner. But at the end of the first lap he is turned round by the black cat Frenchman Alberto Quatrèro in the Blue Surrey.
POV Range Canydd
Me: F¡cking hell, whoever turned me round, I'm gonna kick him in the head!
Mek: It's all right, Range, get in the pits.
Me: No, but come on!
Lap 49.
After a couple of crashes on the track, Modesto Linger was leading the race, Josh Raven was a lap behind and was right in front of him, and Bronson and I were catching up as best we could, with the new track being unraced.
Can: We don't have enough pace. We need to go to change tyres for tyre advantage!
Mek: OK, I think the next lap will be our chance.
On lap 50 we made a quick double pit stop: first Bronson Guthry, then me.
Lap 58.
Unfortunately, despite the ingenious double pit stop strategy, we still haven't managed to overtake the Siamese cat from the Netherlands.
EngRav: Linger's right behind you, let him through.
Rav: Yeah, sure) I'm staying in front of him intentionally, let's say, for the plan.
And the plan was this: the American Siamese cat, not realising that for blocking the leader is given disqualification, deliberately did not break away from Modesto, so that he had the opportunity to turn on DRS, which helped to defend against our incredibly fast cars Mindfulness, and accordingly, deprived us of a chance to win.
Mek: Okay, it's time to use Operation Wah-Bank.
Me: How do you do that?
Mek: Try to attack at every corner. It disorients them.
Me: Okay!
Gut: Time for action!
Last lap 59.
Bru: Look at that, three contenders to win the race and still no answer! It's all down to the last lap!
Rad--- - pilot's radio.
We were all exhausted to the max. In particular Josh Raven, who was serving as the DRS provider for Linger, went off the track. And at his radio started screaming at the top of his lungs Michael Masi, one of motorsport's top judges:
RadRav: DISQUALIFICATION! AND I WILL DEMAND THAT AZURRA SEA BE GIVEN A FINE OF 100 MILLION POUNDS!!!!!
Rav: Are you fu€ked?! I AM AMERICAN, THE TEAM SHOULD NOT PAY!
Rav: IF YOU DON'T PAY THIS FINE IN A WEEK, YOU'RE FU¢KED!!
Rav: F_ck, this is what I'm in trouble for....
Me: Oops, finally this semi is out of our way).
We're approaching the last DRS zone. My team mate Bronson Guthry in second place started to move side to side, hoping to see a gap. But at the end of the straight Linger hit the brakes hard, Guthry swerved to the right, hit the barrier and broke the shock absorber.
Gut: MEŘDE!!! NO! NO! NOT THIS! *begins to cry*
Me: WHAT THE HELL???
Bru: And... Oh, my God! Bronson Guthry is off the track! And that means Modesto Linger wins the Brazilian Grand Prix!
Lin: (crosses the line) Yes! At last I've proved to those red tractors that they can't do anything!
EngLin: *with sarcasm* Oh yes, just like we usually do!
Me: Laurent, what happened to Bronson?
Mek: Apparently got spooked on the straight and broke the car.
Me: Well, I hope I at least finished well.
Mek: Yeah, by the way, you got second place!
Me: Wow, that's not bad. But it's time to chase the win!
After celebrating on the podium.
Gut: Yes, Range, I'm just speechless. The race was going brilliantly... and I'm sorry for letting the team down. *silently weeping*
Me: Bronie, trust me, true teammates will always avenge each other. And you know what? I got the team another podium, so don't beat yourself up) We can get back at it.
POV Range Canydd finished
Gut: I agree) let's do our best at the Misano Grand Prix!
Brazilian Grand Prix results:
1. Modesto Linger 🇳🇱 - 25
2. Range Canydd 🇬🇧🇧🇾 - 22--
3. Guanyu Freak 🇨🇳 - 18
4. Johannés Sparx 🇿🇦 - 18---
5. Jim Bling 🇬🇷 - 13:
6. Jacques Kuïre-Ram 🇧🇪 - 10
7. Richie Rich 🇸🇬 - 9
8. Masashi Kring 🇯🇵 - 8
9. Jerome Existent 🇨🇦 - 7
10. Alberto Quatrèro 🇨🇵 - 7-
11. Rosamond Mahula 🇪🇸 - 5
12. Simo Weaver 🇷🇸 - 4
13. Marcel Corrigeux 🇬🇧 - 3
14. Manfred Pertur🇨🇭 - 2
15. Moises Gabby 🇨🇦 - 1
Pilots Cup:
1. Johannés Sparks - 43
2. Range Canydd - 42
3. Bronson Guthry - 35.
4. Marcil Corrigeux - 35
5. Rosamond Mahula - 32
6. Jim Bling - 31
7. Modesto Linger - 29.
8. Alberto Quatrèro - 28.
9. Paolino Jorc - 28
10. Jacques Kuïre-Ram - 25
11. Guanyu Freak - 23
12. Richie Rich - 23
13. Gabby Moises - 20.
14. Jerome Existent - 19
15. Masashi Kring - 12
16. Josh Raven - 12
17. Pungent - 7.
18. Manfred Pertur - 5
19. Simo Weaver - 4
20. Fred HodooVoodoo - 3
Constructors Cup:
1. Mindfulness - 77
2. Blue Surrey - 56
3. Vertigo - 55
4. Italy Red - 54
5. Zero hués - 52
6. Français ITA - 48
7. Blues - 44
8. Recharge - 36
9. Vision - 19
10. Azurra Sea - 15
For those who forgot:
Gut - Bronson Guthry
Can. Range Canydd.
Lin - Modesto Linger
Rav, Josh Raven.
Mek - Laurent Mekis.
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Hello again, waiting for part 6 - Misano Grand Prix
THROUGH GOES HAMILTON!!!😂
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Range Canydd's Formula-1 Adventures (English Version)
FantasíaThe British-Belarusian cat Range Canydd begins his autosport career and becomes the first cat in history to enter the races of high risks - Formula-1. Which obstacles will be met on Range's way to glory? Let's find out!
