Raised

Pain

   I have watched him for days.Nothing has hurt more than this.He went to an Oktoberfest in Pennsylvania.He met someone and I had to follow.With every kiss it hurt a little bit more.What is this feeling?Why does it hurt?The pain as he takes off her clothes as she takes off his.I still had to stay there while Dean kissed her over and over again.Is this emotional pain?Am I in love with Dean?I cannot be in love.I am an Angel of the Lord and he is a human.It's forbidden.If I tell him I will die and if I don't my heart will.

Anyway the next day Dean was on a hard case.A ghost case.He got a sickness that could lead to death.He would die.So I put a woodchip inside of his stomach.He coughed it up.He got the hint.

A case or two past when I herd that another Angel was going to Sam to "help"with the demon blood situation,Urial.A friend of mine but when dealing with this,I know he will not be as nice.

I had to keep an eye on Sam and Dean.But when they separate it's hard to keep track of them.But I herd an order to follow Dean and Sam's orders for a test.The test was the Holloween spirit.And in our superior' s eyes it was a fail and a seal was broken.Sam used his power.I wanted them to lose,as in the test.The people would be saved.

My superior told me later to to talk to Dean with an the hour.I had to check if Sam or Urial wouldn't end up dead.Until he dropped the bomb.

"Talk to Dean about his time in Hell."said Urial.No,no,no,no,no,no,no,this is bad.The wall could break,but I didn't know it already did.

"I wished that you chose to save the people."I said to Dean on the park bench.

"Can you tell something that you won't tell a single soul."I said.I love you.That's what I was going to say but I couldn't.Not yet.

"Sure."Said Dean.

"Well,I am not the ""hammer""as you say I am.I have thoughts,doubts,feelings."I said.Not what I wanted to say but it will do.

"You look familiar all of a sudden."said Dean.His memories they were flooding back from hell, I couldn't stop it this time.

I pretended I flew away and hid in the veil.

"Damitt Castiel!"said Dean"Where are you?Come back here!I need to tell you something."

I herd him but I couldn't.I couldn't disobey my orders.That was the true meaning of pain.