Folie A Deux

Chapter 3

I really wanted to help him because you see he helped me with a few of my problems long ago.

“James Sullivan,” He said as he looked deeply disappointed at me.

“It’s Jimmy, not James.”

 “Jimmy, I’m your class adviser and there seems to be a problem with your grades here, last semester you were passing with flying colors,” He paused, “What happened this sem?”

I didn’t look up, I might cry. Shit! It would be embarrassing if he saw me cry like a little girl, especially since he’s just around my age.

Damn. I can feel a teardrop streaking down my face. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I then felt a soft hand that wiped that tear away. He then leaned close to me and said, “You can tell me anything. I promise I’ll keep it just between you and me,” he said as he smiled at me.

“Well my mom has cancer and we don’t have enough money for chemo, we don’t have any relatives left just me and my mom, and I can’t concentrate much in class because I’m working five different jobs and I’m just so tired.” I said as I broke down in tears.

He then looked down and I realized something. I realized that he was only given teacher’s pay and that isn’t much. I realized that he couldn’t help me. And now I’m so fucking angry because I just opened up to a person who can’t even help me with my situation. I know it may sound selfish but I was so tired, and my mom kept getting sicker and sicker by the moment.

“I don’t know why I even said that, you can’t help can you?”

“Jimmy...”

“CAN YOU?” He then looked down, I then stormed out of the room. I can’t believe it! That bastard can’t even help me. I’m going the fuck home.

“Mom, I’m home. I’m coming to your room as soon as I’m done preparing your medication.” Hmm.... that’s weird I thought I heard her talking to someone.

“I’m coming in,” And as I entered my mom’s room, I saw my mom talking to professor Carl. He noticed me come in.

“Jimmy—”

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked him as I was readying mom’s meds

“Jimmy dear, that’s no way to talk to your professor.” Mother said gently

“James—” He began saying

“Again it’s not James, it’s Jimmy”

“Jimmy, I know that this might not help as much but it’s the best I could do. I know that it might not be enough for all the sessions but here,” He gave an envelope, “Oh and don’t open it ‘til I leave.” He then stood up, kissed my mom on the forehead and whispered to her, ‘God bless your heart woman.’ And after saying goodbye he left.

I then opened the envelope and in it contained a check for $20000. I then chased after him, turns out he was still outside sitting on a bench just outside my house.

“Hey Professor!”  I said as I stepped out

“Hmm?”

A few tears came streaking down my face, “When you said God bless us, my mom thanked you and I didn’t,” he then grabbed a cigarette from his pocket and lit it, “I didn’t thank you because I don’t believe in God and God won’t bless us because he doesn’t exist.”

As he smiled the cigar moved from the center of his lips to the corner of his mouth. He gave a little laugh too. He motioned for me to sit next to him, even offered me a cigarette, I took it and he lit it for me. That was my first cigarette.

“You know kid, first of all I said ‘God bless you’ just to your mom. Second, I barely believe in that monotheistic shit and I knew that you didn’t too, but your mom does. Let me ask you something, you love your mom right?”

“More than anything,” I replied while huffing out smoke and coughing at the same time.

“Well then, in every waking moment that you’re with your mom you need to believe in God too, or at least pretend to do so because God seems to be the place that your mom puts all her hope in.” He then creates the letter O from smoke and smiles, “When you think about it, your mom’s better than everyone of us. She lives out every single day happy and she puts her hope in something she can’t even see while people like us, we complain about everything and aren’t contented with what we have, we hate, and we don’t believe in anything therefore we stand for nothing.”

I was speechless; it was so full of wisdom.

He then smiled at me and asked, “What’s the matter? Did I blow your mind?”

“Thanks,” I said

“Hey, wanna hear another mind-blowing thing?” He said laughing

“Why not?”

“Sometimes our minds are prisons—asylums that keeps us from truly understanding things,” he said as the smile from his face faded. It was like a full minute of uninterrupted eye contact and that’s when I saw it. Sadness unlike any other. His eyes were sad.

“Well this was productive,” he said as he got up, “See ya around kid” he said as he smiled and waved goodbye.