Whirlwind of Hearts

Chapter one

Everything started off in the hospital, I was dealing with awful stomach problems. I had been prescribed with anti-acids beforehand, which didn't seem to help one bit. My stomach ached, and they couldn't figure out why. My doctor prodded into my life, and it was frustrating. He thought that maybe the cause of my stomach pains was my stress, which caused me more anxiety. It felt as though all my suppressed memories from my childhood were rushing back.

10 year old Luke.

I was trying to concentrate on my homework, but my parents were having a screaming match in the kitchen, you could almost cut the tension with a knife.

My mother yelled, "You never spend time with Luke! He needs his father."

My father became defensive, "I'm working overtime to support this family! You think it's easy?"

My eyes widened with confusion, was this all my fault? I'm ripping my family apart. I shouldn't have been born. Tears welled in my eyes.

I grew up in a house where love felt conditional, where stability was a fleeting dream. My parents' fights were a regular soundtrack to my childhood.

12 year old Luke

I was watching my father packing his belongings in his suitcase, while my mother stood there with tears streaming down her face.

"Please don't go, think of Luke," her voice cracking.

"I can't handle this anymore." My father said, his tone of voice was sad, and defeated.

As I watched my father leave, my mother collapsed on the couch, sobbing.

When my father left, it felt like the ground was pulled out from under me. I promised myself I would never let anyone get close enough to hurt me like that again.

Present day

I awoke, still in my hospital gown. This was starting to become annoying, I didn't want to spend any more days in this stupid hospital. My mind shifted to my stomach as I got a sharp pain. I let out a groan. My doctor came in, and sighed.

"Luke, we're going to try something different." He said.

His words kind of scared me.. different? What does he mean by different?

"We're going to put you on antidepressants, and maybe that'll take some stress off you."

I had never been put on meds before. And the thought of that made me upset, my mind raced. I feel like a crazy person.

"Antidepressants?" I asked.

He nodded.

"We'll get you some prescribed, and then you'll be discharged. I want to set up an appointment from two weeks from now, to see how you're doing."

I nodded slowly, I felt dizzy, like my room had just been taken by a tornado.

I got home, my pill bottle in hand. I set it on the counter, looking at it. I sighed, opening the pill bottle. Pop, the pill bottle made a sound. I shifted a pill into my hand. I got a glass of water, and put the pill into my mouth. My tastebuds were greeted with a bitter taste, and I quickly downed the water, feeling the pill slide down my throat.

I sat on my couch, I don't know what I expected but that was fairly easy. My doctor told me to set an alarm on my phone to make sure I take it. I did just that, and then decided I was going out. I got up, going to my room.

I picked out some clothes, putting them on. I headed out, getting in my car.

I arrived at a club, music was blasting, and it looked crowded. I got out of my car, and walked to the entrance. I showed my ID to the bouncer, and he let me in. There was a local band playing. I sat down at the bar, ordering myself a martini. I looked around, and I saw him.

The man that would forever change my life. But I didn't know that yet.

I looked down, he was drawing in a sketch book, with that, I saw the most beautiful art I've ever laid my eyes on.

"Wow, that's amazing," I said, looking back up at the man.

He looked at me, and blushed, "Thank you," he said, he went back to sketching on his book.

I nodded and got my drink, taking a few sips. I looked back at the man and I wanted to say something- anything. His looks, the drawings, it felt like i was being lured in.

"So what's your name?" I asked.

He looked back up, "Caleb." He answered. I then realized he had a thick accent, maybe German? It was attractive.

"What about you?" He said, he probably saw me staring.

I blushed and answered, "My names Luke." I smiled.

"Cute," he murmured.

My cheeks turned red, but I ignored that comment.

"How'd you learn to draw so well?" I asked, I was intrigued by his art.

"I'm self taught." He answered, still sketching.

I nodded, "Wow, you have talent."

He smiled, and nodded.

"Thank you."

I sipped my drink, finishing it.

"Hey, um- im sorry if this is weird, but can I have your number? You're really cute, and I'd love to learn more about you," I asked.

He blushed, and nodded. He tore off a piece of paper from his sketch book, writing his number down on it.

"Here," he handed it to me.

"Thank you. I'm going to leave, but I'll be sure to text you!" I smiled.

I then got up, and left the club. My hands were shaking with excitement. This was the happiest I had been since being in the hospital.

I got home, and sat on the couch. I put Caleb's number in my phone. I typed a message out.. but I didn't send it.

What if he thought I was annoying? I was so intrusive at the bar. Maybe he felt as though he had to give me his number, I'm not even that attractive.

My smile faded, as thoughts crowded my mind. I deleted the message and put the paper in my drawer next to the couch. I got up, and went to my room. I looked at myself in the full sized mirror I had.

I'm so fat and ugly. No one would ever want me.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I stared at myself as my thoughts became darker. I couldn't stop, it felt like I had to.