If your love was true.

chapter three

So i did what i had to do.
I went the other day and told him he won't get to me.
He didn't even talk to me after that. Yes, he looked at me, more like glared the whole time, but he never dared to approach. It's more like he accepted his faith.
I should feel relief, but i don't. I feel like i imprisoned myself more or pushed some buttons.
Whenever i am in front of him, i feel like he will attack out of nowhere. He feels like an enemy now.

The enemy you found comfort in, idiot.
No, i-i didn't just say that. Did i?
God, what is wrong with my head.
He is the person i hate. I will never ever look at him that w-

"Farwa-!!" I starle with the voice of my sister. I was zoned out.
Just for, How long was she calling me?
My sister came home today from her in-laws, so we decided to go for hotpot and then coffee.
Now we were sitting in a coffee shop while mahnoor api is holding the menu.
"Just what is wrong? You've zoned out for the fourth time today, "

I look at her dumb founded. I feel so strange, and i just nod my head.
"N-nuh, there's nothing."

My sis eyes me suspiciously and says, "I am ordering caramel latte for me. Yours is vanilla frappe? Right?"

"Yeah! Always the same, haha. "
I let out a fake laugh, and she understood.
Mano gave the order and turned towards me.

"Just what the hell is wrong. Tell me. I have come home after such a long time, even though mom is not here. Open up" by mom is not here, she means i usually dont open up in front of mom, but i do in front of her. I dont know how to tell her.

"Umm, uh,"

"Stop with that and tell me. What's going on in that mind of yours? You always look like that when a boy is in your mind? Am i guessing, right?" My body stiffened, and eyes widen. i can't control my expression. I am too obvious.

"Just tell me, farwa!" She says with a roll of her eyes. How do i tell her, or what do i tell her. The hell is wrong. There is nothing we aren't a thing.
He's not even in my life anymore.
I tried to change the subject.

"Mama said nani told her about some guy, and they want to come home for my hand, you knew about it and you didn't tell me?"
I wasn't making up things. mom really said that, and i am pretty sure mano knew about it. But she didn't bother to tell me.
I didn't want to get married, i made it very clear when mano got married.But they just won't freaking understand.

"Farwa, just how long will you stay unmarried. You know i got married so young, even Mama gave you time. You are in university now.
She even asked if you like someone, but that's not the case. Then what is it? Why are you not getting married? Or engaged?"
She says with worry in her voice, she knows that i dont like the idea of marriage. I am just not ready.

"I can't marry someone i barely know," i say, forming an excuse.

"Stop it, okay? You're the one who is always reading books with arranged marriage trope. So dont come and make excuses that you don't 'KNOW' him." She says using overdramatic force i used to talk like when i was younger.

Our coffee arrives, and i can sense mano glaring at me.

"You know the thought of marriage scares me. Stop acting like it's normal." I say with genuine concern. I have always been scared of it.

"Then what do you suggest i do farwa? Let you say no to Baba?
You know how he will react, Baba has never been so open-minded. He is telling you to meet him first before settling anything."
This time, she was calm. I also think it's kind of alright, i dont think i can run more.

"Okay- uh, I'll meet him. Alright?"

------

"You should wear red, farwa. You look so sexy in red, I'm sure he will fall head over heels for you." Anooshey says over the phone.

I am supposed to be at the venue in 30 mins, and anoosha is messing with me.

I ignore her and go through my wardrobe.
"So who is this mysterious guy, huh?" Her half voice chipped because of her mouth stuffed with cookies.

"Even i dont know, man."

"What do you mean, you don't know? What's his name? What does he look like?"

"Anooshey, Mama just told me his name. And I'll meet him today. You can take every information, okay?"

"Ohhhkaaayyy, what's his name then?"

"Asfandyar."

"Hmm, good name, good name."

"Bye, anooshey. I dont want to hear how you think he may be handsome."

"Hey, hey, heyyyyyyy... okay, just one listen." I wait. "He will have black hair, pretty eyes, sharp jawline."

"Okay, byee anooshey."
I hang up before she tells me dirty details.