He was assigned to kill her, but he couldn't his heart longed for her warmth, the hues of warmth that made him enjoy life. He hated himself, and he wanted to hate her, but as long as he thought of her he couldn't let her go, he couldn't hate her fo...
"I am fine." He said flatly, "I was probably having a nightmare." The truth was demigods rarely dream and if they do it would be seeing their enemy and finding out something. But Percy didn't push it. "If you want to talk about anything I am right here." He said putting a hand on his shoulder. "I am always going to there for you."
"Thanks, Percy." That made Nico smile slightly, but it didn't stay for a while, being back to be shrouded with thoughts.
"Now go eat something, you need to have some energy."
The flickering lanterns and the jubilant sounds of the pavilion seemed almost surreal to Nico. With the quest weighing heavily on his mind, the festive atmosphere felt like a cruel illusion. The quest's danger seemed to cast long shadows over the seemingly harmless feast.
His mind was stuck, if it was her would he have the strength to make the choice, bear the pain that came a long with it. The weight of the quest became real, unbearable, a painful reminder of the overshadows he had lived with most of his life. Every moment of solace he sought out.
The idea of hurting her gnawed at him.
Would he be able to? Would he ever find peace knowing that he did that to her, would he ever truly forgive himself, or would it haunt every step of his life?
He sighed at the thought, the sound of murmurs of conversations and laughter filled his ears.
Would he ever be like that agin? The childish little kid he once was, living life without a care in the world?
Would he ever be free from the pain? The guilt that has been forever haunting him?
How were all the campers living with happiness for so long? Are those all fake smiles and laughter. Are they putting on a disguise and hiding their true self? True feelings? Are they just better at putting a disguise? Better at acting like they are happy, that they are fine?
