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From: Giorginna Boux Miller <giofairybouxxx@email.com>
Subject: Incoming! Pack an Extra Pair of Eyes (and Maybe Some Garlic? 🧄)
Howdy Sissy! (Sis, sisisisisi)
Welcome to the wonderfully bonkers, occasionally pants-wettingly weird, but mostly ridiculously amazing world of Stanwyck University! 🙌 You'll be right at home surrounded by weirdos (the good kind, I promise). Moving from Alabama to Canada is a BIG DEAL, but trust your favorite (only?) cousin, you won't regret it... mostly.
Speaking of slightly-sinister vibes... okay, so you know how you absolutely slayed that entrance exam? (Just casually strolling into the academic big leagues. Werk! 💅) Well... your favorite cousin might have, possibly, maybe... gotten her wee hands on next year's scholarship recipient list. (My dad calls it being "unnervingly resourceful." I call it a gift. 😉)
Aaaaanyway... you're on my radar, wee bairn. And seeing as the universe has this funny way of making me the self-appointed protector of brilliant minds (plus, you're dead cool, and this place needs more "dead cool" ASAP), consider this your crash course in Stanwyck's underbelly. (And aye, calling it an "underbelly" is scarily accurate.)
There's this whole secret society thing. Now, before you roll your eyes and go full "Scooby Doo," this isn't your average, run-of-the-mill, "we-meetin-a-dorm-room-and-wear-matching-t-shirts" type of club. Oh no. This, my friend, is next-level *"we-wear-velvet-smoking-jackets-unironically-and-fundamentally-misunderstand-the-point-of-charity"* levels of strange.
It's called (and I can barely type this without getting a virtual papercut) the Golden Plume Circle. Just the name screams "My father summers in Monaco, darling." You just know their ancestors funded the university on a foundation of old money and questionable morals (and probably some shady land deals, knowing history). Seriously, rumour has it there's an entire chapter on how to properly hold a champagne flute in their handbook! Like, what century are we in?!
From what I've gathered (whispers in stairwells, strategically placed eavesdropping... I should work for MI6, tbh) The Plummes Squad dedicate an embarrassing amount of time and money to... *subtly* discouraging scholarship students? Their weapons of choice? Think psychological warfare meets Mean Girls. Machiavelli's got NOTHING on these guys.
Officially, no one knows if they're still a thing. Apparently, their reign of gilded terror fizzled out sometime around when Vanilla Ice was still considered cool (don't ask). But here's the plot twist, sis: word on the street (or, the dorm hallway, same difference) is that the OG founders of this exclusive club for entitled nightmares were none other than Amaya Fukuyoshi's dad and - wait for it - HURSTIN'S DEAR OLD DAD!
Dun dun DUN!
So, you know, just proceed with caution, okay? If anyone tries to give you fashion advice that involves a monocle, run. Also, "The Dungeon" is an actual place here (I'll explain later), steer clear unless you want to risk stumbling onto a scene straight out of *Eyes Wide Shut*. Oh! And speaking of avoiding creepy places at night, the East Wing of the library? Definitely haunted. But, again, another story for another time...
Look, I gotta jet. Professor McGillicuddy (for real, that's his name) has this weird thing about tardiness. So! Because you're basically family and I already consider you a fellow Stanwyck survivor, here's the need-to-know to navigate our little corner of the world:
Coffee: "The KissKisswell." Hands down, the best lattes, five minutes from campus, plus they have these armchairs that feel like a hug in furniture form.
Groceries: "The Market Basket." Student budget = instant ramen aficionado, am I right? This place is the holy grail for cheap noodles. BUT! It's a bit of a trek, and let's just say the after-dark clientele give off some seriously questionable vibes. Stock up during the day. You've been warned.
The Library: So, aside from the whole "haunted" thing, the fourth floor has this weird little alcove... amazing sunlight and these ancient armchairs that were practically made for all-nighter study sessions. Seriously, it's like the library was designed by someone who understands the delicate balance between caffeine highs and pre-exam mental breakdowns.
Okay, this email is officially longer than my dissertation on the socio-political ramifications of the Spice Girls (no shame, it was brilliant), so consider yourself thoroughly warned, prepped, and (hopefully) not totally terrified.
Keep your wits about you, be wary of anyone who looks like they might own a cravat collection, and text me the MINUTE you get settled! First latte is on me.
Stay fierce (and fabulous, obviously),
Giorginna Boux Miller
P.S: If you see a guy wandering around who looks suspiciously like every single member of the Cullens combined... it's probably just Hurstin. He insists it's the "mountain air." I blame his dad's questionable genetics.
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YOU ARE READING
Intimidate Me Gently, Eh? - New Adult | 18+ (Plummers Series)
Любовные романыStanwyck was supposed to be Sissy Morton's ticket out. With stellar SAT scores and a full scholarship, Sissy arrived at the elite institution.A girl from Alabama whose biggest dream wasn't finding Prince Charming but ensuring her little brother got...
