𝖍𝖊𝖝 - 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓵𝔂𝓷 𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓮-𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓮

vanilla folder

"So, Santiago, would you do the honours?" Amy scowled at the smug tone imbeded in Jake Peralta's voice.

Having no choice, Amy sighs and gets up to walk over to a whiteboard, which, among other things, has a table in the corner that says:

“Peralta: 23  |  Santiago: 22”

Everyone let an 'Ohh' while Amy stomped her foot. "I hate this!" Amy erases the “23” after Jake’s name and writes “24” in tiny handwriting.

Applause was heard from the other members of the precinct while Amy pouted. Amy let out a scowl. "Enjoy it while it lasts." Jake grinned widely before responding, "I will!"

Sergeant Terry Jeffords stood at the podium at the front of the room as he started the meeting. "JP, update on the Morgenthau murder?"

Jake got up from his seat. "Yeah! Good news for all you murder fans." He smiled when laughter erupted from the other members of the precinct. He gestures to pictures of the corpse and a headshot of the victim on a TV set next to him.

"Earlier this morning... Someone decided to shoot and kill luxury food importer Henry Morgenthau. The body was found by the cleaning lady. During her interview, I deduced, using expert detective work, that she had something super gross on her chin." TV next to Jake showed a picture of the cleaning lady, then a close-up of the thing on her chin.

Everyone groaned, either at Jake or the photo. Probably both. Charles, being as weird as he was, was not fazed. "I think it was flan."

"Charles thinks it was flan. I think it was butterscotch pudding." Jake imputed his own opinion, not that anyone asked.

"Maybe it was just an old person gunk. You know how old people always have that gunk on them." Detective Rosa Diaz said, sitting at the back of the room with her feet on the desk. Jake thought about it for a moment. "Oldie gunk. Could be, yeah. Is there anyone else?"

Terry intervened in the intereting conversation. "How about we focus on the murder and not the old person gunk?" Amy informed everyone that crime techs are at the scene now. "We're heading back when they're done."

Terry nodded. "Okay, I want you on this. It's gonna be priority one for the new C.O." Rosa suddenly seemed intrigued. "Wait, tell us about the new Captain." Terry said nothing. "Captain Holt will be here soon. He'll wanna introduce himself. Dismissed." Everyone left the room with disappointed looks on their faces.

—𝖍𝖊𝖝—

Amy was currently standing in front of Jake’s desk. "Hey, you heard anything about the new Captain?" Jake shook his head. "Uh, no, and I don't care. I just wish Captain McGintley never left. He was the best." He pouted. Amy looked as though he had said something scandalous. "He was terrible! You just liked him 'cause he let you do anything you wanted." She accused. Jake rolled his eyes. "What's your point?"
Amy's face turned serious. "If I'm ever gonna make Captain, I need a good mentor. I need my rabbi."

Jake just scoffed. "Sorry, dude... But this new guy's gonna be another washed-up pencil pusher who's only concerned with..." He opted for a robotic voice. "Following every rule in the patrol guide. Meep morp zeep."

The officers around him stare at him uncomfortably while Jake is oblivious as he continues to do his impression. Jake continued to robotically talk, unaware of the fact that Captain Holt was right behind him.