Poems Or Vents

6th July, 2024

Something I kinda notice recently is that, well, idk how to explain, but I've proven myself trustworthy, right?? If that's the case then why is it hard to tell whether I'm lying or not?? I dont think ive ever even lied. Why tell me something and make me feel so important and like I actually matter when you're not even sure of yourself?? When you're not even sure you can trust me. Now how am I supposed to trust you, huh? And that you've could've lied to me at one point? I know you're not a liar but I'm sure I'd bother you being called one. You mentioned how you vented to someone and when I asked if you vent you said no. Or do you just vent only when things get extremely bad??

Anyways, my birthdays in a couple days, but I feel like nobody really gives a shit.  Last year my family ruined my birthday and I didn't get to do anything. The weather was shit and my father passed passed away on the same day, which nobody really cared about either, and I had to deal with the grief on my own. I barely get any attention irl so it hurts not getting any attention on your birthday either, where you're supposed to feel atleast alittle important. Also I live with a 7 year old, I'm just gonna call him my little brother, but last year he got more attention, he had pool party for his birthday, his friends came over and stuff and I remember how angry it made me feel. He was always getting things I wanted and he was always cared about. I don't remember the last time someone irl was actually concerned for my health, or ever asked if I was okay, or even hugged me. All those times I spent crying in my room and shit and no one ever heard me or even questioned it whenever I came out of my stupid room. It's always about, "Oh you have to get a job, oh you have to make money, you have to take on responsibilities and shit. I'm so tired of it geunially.