I feel scared of what you could do
I feel like I could throw up
I can barely masturbate without feeling like throwing up
Is it I'm disgusted with myself
Or Is it I'm disgusted with what you want
Sometimes I feel pretty and then I try to be sexual and I just want to throw everything up
Is it that you told how you wanted to put "inch by inch"
My thoughts made me realize that I shouldn't go close to you
I've been a mess
My mind wonders and then I think of you being able to get your way no matter what
Is it because I want it
I know I don't I really don't
I think that'll break me
But I can't be happy with myself
Why should I be happy
When you want me
As if I can't feel you longing for me
It makes me want to throw up
Or just die in a hole
And I'm tired of going day by day, Hour by hour, minute by minute even second by second thinking that if you had a.chance you might take it
50/50
It's hard I can't even trust you
It's been hard and I'm sick and tired
