~~~~~ Nicole ~~~~~
I ran to my dressing room and locked the door during break and I sat on the couch and just stared at the TV. I don't know why but I had such an urge to just cry. Why did Ross kiss me like that? I know that wasn't Austin that was pure Ross. I could tell in his eyes. That's the one thing I've learned by studying directing. That emotion can be shown in eyes and actions. And that was not an Austin emotion. That was Ross. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why am I upset over this? I like Ross, a lot... But I can't date him. I just can't. Now that I'm a "celebrity" I just can't. Even if I wasn't I couldn't date him. We'd never be left alone by the press. Plus everyone ships Raura. What the hell is this random girl from RI doing?! I can't do this. I have to quit. No. No. I can't do that. I have to do this. I can't let anyone down. I can't let Ross down. And I cannot let Kaitlyn down.. I just have to get myself together. And maybe distant myself from Ross.. No. I could never. He's my best friend. His family are my family. Ugh! What am I going to do?!?!
Just then there was a knock on the door and I got up and unlocked it.
"Can I come in?"
I didn't want to say yes.
"Sure."
Ross walked in and I shut the door behind him. Before the door even shut Ross started talking.
"Look, I don't know why I did that."
"Yeah, I don't know either."
"are you mad?"
Yes.
"No.. I'm not mad.."
Yes I fucking am.
"I just got caught up in the moment. And I don't know.. Your eyes literally pull me in."
"What?"
Ross scratched the back of his neck.
"I don't know what I'm saying, but I just don't want that to ruin our friendship."
"Ross, it's not going to. It's just acting."
He looked upset when I said that.
"Yeah.. Acting. Austin and Trinity."
"Yeah.. Not Nicole and Ross. Nicole and Ross are best friends."
He looked disappointed.
"Yeah. Friends. I'll let you get back to your break."
"Thanks.."
With that he walked out of the room and I just laid on my couch and cried. I really like Ross. But.. I can't .. It's show biz.
***** Ross *****
I walked into my dressing room ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me on the way there and shut the door. I walked to my mini fridge and grabbed a drink, and sat down on the couch. I wonder if Nicole really only sees me as a friend... I really like her.. But I do understand what she means by "its show biz" but.. Do I care? No. I'd risk my whole career to be with her. She's the sweetest, nicest, and most beautiful girl I have ever met. I don't care about the press. I don't care about the show. I care about her. All her. And I will make her mine. Even if it has to be a secret. I have to do something. But what? What should I do? Should I ask her to be my girlfriend? Should I wait it out and see what happens?
*Knock Knock*
"Come in!"
"Hey Ross ... "
Nicole looks nervous as she enters the room.
"So.. We have that big season premier party.."
I smile at her
"Yeah, I know."
"Do you want to be my date?"
"I'd love to."
She smiled at me.
"Cool.. I'll see you on set."
And with that she walked out.
I think I know what to do now (;
