"you weren't mine to lose"
When A* student Siobhán Murphy is sandwiched between two troublemakers, she is forced to either love them or hate them.
But when she makes the foolish mistake of falling for one of them, she winds up losing her true self...
song of the chapter: Winter In The Sun - Fontaines D.C.
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—flashback—
EACH SCHOOL DAY BEGAN with Siobhán and Olivia sat in the back right corner of their form room, hiding away from their overtly enthusiastic tutor, Miss Shepherd, so that she didn't call on them to participate in whatever mandatory PSHE session she was running.
The two would normally gossip about the ridiculously immature behaviours of their fellow classmates or debate whether Suck It and See or Favourite Worst Nightmare was the best Arctic Monkeys album. Their latest talking point was boys, surprisingly. Neither had been particularly interested in them, favouring devoting their time to enriching their minds and strengthening their friendships, a phase most girls went through in their youth. The conversation was primarily driven by Olivia and her recent infatuation with a boy in her geography class, Elijah, meanwhile Siobhán continued to be her usual reserved self, preferring to watch her best friend gush about the things she loved.
For the full 30 minutes, Olivia filled the time detailing the way that the boy's dark curls fell perfectly across his face or the freckles that were dotted all over his cheeks or the perfect curvature of his nose. It was safe to say Siobhán did not share her passion, but nevertheless, found the change in conversation refreshing; it was something that girls her age were only ever speaking about, so she actually felt normal for once. Whatever 'normal' was.
Her first period was always maths with Mr Davies, a teacher you could tell had no life outside of their job. He couldn't properly control a class but continued to display a strict, grumpy demeanour. You'd think that after 25 years at the same school, having the same negative reputation, you'd want things to change, something to change. Siobhán often pitied him, seeing his life for what it truly was; dull.
On the way to maths, it wasn't uncommon for Siobhán to be stopped in the STEM corridor by someone in her year. They were never a friend, always a business associate. This was because Siobhán recognised her intellectual capabilities as something she couldn't just profit off of later in life, in her future career, but also in the present. She did so by giving up half an hour or so each day to completing someone else's homework. For them, she was doing them a huge favour, one that would be retuned in the form of a, usually crumpled, €5 note. For Siobhán, it was something for her to do to pass the time at home and that helped fund her ever-growing vinyl collection.
On that particular morning, Siobhán was stopped by her year's 'it' girl, Saoirse Sullivan. She began to have a go at the poor girl, complaining that Siobhán's impeccable mathematical ability had arose suspicion and that next time, she should make sure that at least three answers were wrong. Siobhán was not to be paid that morning.
