The Karma Study

Chapter 16 - Dutton and Painter

Participant Z-7-4

I've lost track of how many days I've been here, but to be completely transparent, I can't find it in me to care. The men I loved, and trusted have betrayed me. The man I killed for destroying my humanity and stripping me of bodily autonomy, isn't dead at all. I have been forcefully sterilized. I have been in the electric kennel. I have fought nine grown men who are all above my weight class, and killed eight of them. I almost ate human flesh purely as a power move.

Needless to say, I don't necessarily give a fuck about anything anymore. I don't even think I care about surviving at this point.

Father wasn't completely satisfied with my performance on the mat yesterday, so I'm not sure what he has in store for me today, I just know it won't be a reward.

I didn't expect to fall back in line like this, like a faithful follower. To be terrified of this omniscient being that gives me the illusion of free-will, but will punish me should I choose the wrong thing; make the wrong move. To be routinely set up for failure. The constant fear of disappointment even if it's an impossible task. But despite the ruthless punishments, I'm willing to lay my life on the line out of devotion and willful slavery.

But in this case; is it faith or is it fear?

What happens when the embodiment of evil becomes your God? What happens when your destruction becomes your salvation?

The numb has been in full force from the moment I realized my father was alive, and he had captured me once again. But when he told me he had taken a vital decision of my future away from me, I think I've gone beyond the numb.

No, what I find myself swimming in is the void.

I never thought about children, honestly, I never even considered the possibility. On the off chance that the Karma brothers didn't betray me and they did in fact care for me, what now? Will they, could they, ever want me? What kind of future could I give them without even the possibility of an heir. Dean and Brandon come to mind at the thought of parenthood, they'd make excellent fathers. Dean is a disciplinarian with a secret heart of gold. And Brandon, the most patient and understanding soul I have ever encountered, fuck and his bright blue eyes on a little baby boy...

No. Stop. They betrayed me, and even if they didn't, they absolutely wouldn't want me now.

Who am I kidding? I never wanted children anyway. So what's the point of mourning something I never thought I wanted in the first place. I would be a horrible mother after all. I have killed before. More than that, I have killed men in cold blood. I curse, I have no table manners, I can barely get myself to sleep, I shut down all traces of emotions when they get too overwhelming, I shut down.

I'm wasting my time, and mental strength entertaining this train of thought.

I'll likely never escape anyway, so what's the point? That is, if I even want to escape.

"Z-7-4," A voice pulls me from my thoughts as my door swings open. "We are hitting the lab today." I partially recognize the voice but it doesn't register until he's in front of me.

"Five?" I ask. "Why'd they send you? Aren't you a participant?"

He shrugs and as he starts to release me from my restraints I take in his appearance. The left side of his head is bandaged, and judging by the shape, they were not able to reattach his ear. He has dark black hair, cut closely on the sides but somewhat long and curly on top. He has pale skin, close to the same completion as mine, but he is dotted with dark freckles. I have never seen freckles like his, they are a deep brown, almost the same onyx as his hair and it's a brilliant contrast to his fair skin. His eyes are just as brilliant, a striking gray-blue that are both icy and devastating. He is lacking any facial hair, but his eyebrows are thick and low, similar to Teddy's in that way.

"Apparently, my punishment for letting you get the best of me but uhm... eating my fucking ear. I'm dealing with you today." And I'm also noticing for the first time, that he's heavily Russian. His English is perfect, but his accent is still thick, and aggressive by nature.

"Seems fair." I smirk.

He undoes by bed-to-wrist restraints, but I'm immediately shackled into a mobile pair, same as my ankles.

"No cattle prod?" I question whe I realize he literally has no weapons on him.

"Pssh," He laughs, "As if they'd give me a weapon. They know I'd turn it back on their asses to escape."

I pause before I stand from my bed, "Escape?"

"Obviously," He rolls his eyes like we have been in on this plan together for years. "You didn't think I'm a willing participant did you?"

I think on this for a moment, and I come to the conclusion that I did assume everyone on the mat yesterday was willing, or just guards. But the chances of them all being unwilling participants like myself aren't necessarily zero.

"I guess I assumed you all were." I slide from my bed and stand in front of him. I wince on accident, which is my fault for letting my guard down. I correct my stance and stand up straight. I was in front of that stupid blinking red light all night,and I didn't feel completely confident in taking care of my own wounds. Not like I truly could, with the restraints and all, but I could have done a few things to relax better. "How long have you been here?" I ask.

"I think..." He pauses and his eyes glaze over in the memory that crosses his mind, but I choose not to prod too much further. "Sixteen years? I think at least."

"What? That's not possible." I scoff, dismissing the idea immediately.

"How's that? The Cambions captured me when I was ten, and I heard one of the doctors say my age last week, he said I was twenty-six. So, sixteen years." He nods definitively as he confirms his own math.

"Okay, but that doesn't make sense. My father had me in his basement all those years. How could he have done both?" I questioned.

Five continues, "Well Kane was here pretty often too, they must have just switched off as needed."

Kane... I keep forgetting about Kane.

"Hold on," I shake my head as I try to wrap my head around the newfound knowledge as he tries to shuffle me out of my room. "You know about Kane?"

"We all do, and we all know that you are the one that killed him too. You have been pretty famous down here for some time, we just weren't prepared to meet you yesterday." Five explains so nonchalantly that this almost feels like a casual conversation between life-long friends.

To prevent myself from spiraling I find a quick subject change, "Sorry about your ear."

Five scoffs and escorts me out of my door and into the hall, "No. You're not." He chuckles and when I give him a curious glance his smirk falters and he looks me in the eyes. "You were a cornered, wounded animal, you did what needed to be done. Don't apologize for it, maybe not I ca have a cool nickname."

A laugh comes easily when I say, "Five could be a pretty cool nickname, in literally any other circumstance."

"You mean any circumstance other than being a human test subject for a mad-scientist-mafia-king-skin-trade-lord? Yeah, I'd have to agree." Five laughs, and it's a sound so comforting, I feel a piece of myself slowly slip back into place.

"Yes, yes. That would be correct." I laugh in response, but it quickly dies out as we approach what I assume are the lab doors. "Do you have any warning about what I may experience today, Five?"

The dark haired boy sighs and shakes his head, "From what I saw a few hours ago, he has a chair in there and it runs on a circuit, from experience either don't lie, or be a really really good liar. I also saw his knives laid out. So, I have no true warning, but if I had to guess, he plans on..."

I hold up my hand to stop him from finishing the statement, and I choose to complete it for him, "Interrogation."