BROKEN ROMANTICS

MAE

"Hey! Where's the milk?" My brother called as I rushed past him to my room.
"They didn't have it today." I murmured a reply without looking back. As soon as I reached my room, I closed the door and my knees gave out. I sat against the door, with my knees drawn up to my chest and my arms folded around it. I buried my face in the space between and let out a huge sigh.
No it didn't happen. It was just a dream, he isn't real. As I have never dated him and in order to make it easier for me to move on, I decided to believe that he wasn't real. Nothing ever was between us. I cut off all our contacts after he lost my trust. How much disrespect can one take before it finally drills in their head that they deserve better than this? It was tough. It is tough, very tough but I'm getting there. My friends are my greatest supporters. They made me believe that I would be okay, even though I felt no where near it at that time. But now I really do believe that I'll be okay, that it'll be okay.
My heart rate was getting back to normal. I will not think about how he looked while he picked up my stuff. Because it wasn't real. I was just probably day dreaming like I always do. But if it wasn't real, then why does my heart ache so much?
I felt something wet on my right cheek and as I bought my fingers there, I realised..
Wait, why are tears streaming down my face? I thought I was okay. I've been trying so hard to be okay, trying so hard to move on, to not write about him. I've just been trying and trying and suddenly it's just crumbling all around me..I'm crumbling into pieces when I've been doing my best to keep it intact.
I let it all out in the darkness of my room. The hurt, the pain, how much I missed him, how much I hate him, how much I loved him, everything. I kept it all locked and as if he was the key, that door opened, now impossible to lock it again. After a while, when my tears stopped and my face became red and puffy, I took a deep breath and stood up. I needed a distraction so I could escape this unexpected day for a while. I picked up the book I was currently reading and got settled on my bed with my blanket wrapping me in a safe cocoon.
"You know, I'm so scared, but at the same time, I'm really excited to read that book." I giggled with excitement. Across from me, Weston was sitting on the hood of his car, parked at the back of Ben's Desserts. The moonlight bathing him in beautiful white, softening his features while he eats a spoonful from his ice cream.
"Why are you scared to read it?" He asked, looking at me with curiosity.
"Apparently it's really, really sad. You can't find any spoilers on the internet. People just cry." I shrugged, while eating my chocolate chip ice cream, standing beside him. My heart feeling light and calm.
"Dang. You know, read it when I'm there." He said thoughtfully.
"Why?" I narrowed my eyes at him.
"So when you'll start to cry, I'll take you in my arms and comfort you, so you wouldn't be too sad." He said it so casually, while my heart started running a marathon. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. It's good that it's night, so he can't really notice it. Hopefully.
"I would like that." I said as I continued to eat while looking in his chocolate brown eyes.
"Me too" he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine.
Nobody around us, just me, him, and the moon watching us from above.
I woke up with a start. I look around me. I'm in my room and not with Weston. My heart aches at the thought of him, at the realisation of his absence, not only beside me, but from my life altogether. I must've fallen asleep while reading and because of all the crying. I check the time. It was midnight. I got up and kept the book I was reading on my nightstand. I searched for my phone for any notification. Scrolling, scrolling. Nothing muc-
My heart dropped in my stomach like a lead. I rubbed my eyes to see if I'm still sleepy, still dreaming, but it didn't change anything because the notification was still there.
He messaged me. I did block him in the starting. After a week, I unblocked him, having a sliver of hope and all the what ifs swirling in my head. What if he texts back? What if he apologised ? What if he wanted another chance? I know it's stupid, but hey, you can't blame a girl in love.
I opened the message to see what he texted
Weston: Hey..
Weston: I've missed you. How are you doing?
I couldn't help but just stare at the message. He missed me? Or was it just another form of manipulation? But what if he really did miss me? God, I'm so stupid. I have to be strong. I can't be that naive again. I have to keep reminding myself why we are in this situation in the first place. It was because he couldn't keep his words. He lost my trust, so now I can't trust his words. I need to keep my guard up. Mistakes shouldn't be repeated twice and lessons are taught once.
Me: Hi. I've been good.
My heart did a quick summersault when I saw three dots appear on the screen, then disappeared, then reappeared. It was as if he couldn't decide what to text.
Weston: I know it's a long shot..but do you wanna meet up?
WHAT!? Meet up? That's what he has to say after all this time?
Weston: Please, Mae.
It was as if he was silently pleading. I at least owed him an explanation but at the same time I'm tired of explaining again and again why I'm hurt. It's exhausting.
I take a deep breathe, wanting some time to think about this. I really don't want to get hurt again. I can't do it anymore. I close my eyes and my mind takes me back to that day.
"Please let me understand you. I want to be there for you."
"Why don't you get it? Mae. I don't want to be understood."
Don't come near me." He said in a chill voice, making me wonder if it really belongs to the sweet boy I knew.
"Weston, wait." I plead as my heart bled, the pain equivalent to the sting of thousand cuts.
No Mae, come back! I shake my head wishing that would erase that day as well.
Me: I'll think about it.
I didn't wait for his reply, turned off my phone and lie back down on my bed, wanting nothing more but for sleep to rob me away for the night.
But Alas! It didn't and now I'm stuck thinking what will happen now?