BROKEN ROMANTICS

MAE

After meeting Aster, he's all I can think about as I pretend to look at the descriptions of random books written on the back cover.
He asked me for book recommendations!
That's the best thing a book lover can ask, well except for more books, but still!
Aster Lewis. The quiet boy of our class, with dark brown hair, falling messily over his forehead. Paired with black glasses, slopping a little down his beautifully structured nose. He has a lean body. Muscular but not too bulky. I like that.
Wait, what? No, no I don't like anything.
To be honest, I was a little taken aback when he asked me for book recommendations, hell even before that, when he talked to me in more than one sentence. In class, we don't say anything to each other, except necessarily.
Right now, I'm excited for some reason. It might be because I get to talk about books.
Or it might be because of the person instead. A voice spoke in my mind. Nope, not listening to it.
I was hurt enough. I will not let the past repeat itself.
The problem with me is that I take kindness as romantic interest most of the times and I get too attached too easily. Never again.
"I don't think so I like you anymore." He said, while rubbing the back of his neck.
Oh-
"Same" I said while laughing. I could feel the pressure building behind my eyes, but I can't cry in front of him.
My heart falling to pieces. Why am I never enough? The only question rumbling on and on in my mind.
I shake my head, coming back to earth.
After getting my books checked out, I went over to Aster, willing to forget all about the flashbacks and putting on a convincing smile while my heart sinks deeper and deeper with each memory of Weston.
"Hey" I said as I stood in front of him while he continued reading his book. His eyes met mine and he broke out into a shy smile. He closed his book and looked up to me. He was looking so beautiful. I cleared my throat in order for my mind to clear whatever nonsense it's thinking about.
"Oh,hi" he smiled, and butterflies got away in my stomach. Is that possible? Just from a smile? But then again, I can just imagine a wedding with someone who I made an eye contact with once.
"Do you want to go to the cafe across the street?" He asked.
"Are you allowed to do that?" I asked, looking around for any other employees. I'm pretty sure you can't leave your work like that.
"It's alright, I'll ask Kev to cover it for me." He said with a wink.
"Okay, then let's go." I gestured for him to lead the way.
"So what books did you get?" Aster asked while he held open the door for me.
"Oh, Hamlet, The Prince and Romeo and Juliet." I said cheerfully, showing him the stack.
"That's nice. What are you reading them for?" He asked with curiosity in his eyes.
"I don't know, I just wanted to for some reason." To be honest, even I didn't know why I was taking these books, maybe it was because I saw Aster, and the first question that popped was this. But he doesn't need to know that.
We walked over to the cafe. Talking about our interests and hobbies. I was doing most of the talking anyways. He was just listening.
He again, held the door for me. I know it's the bare minimum, but I was getting those damn butterflies again.
We took our seats and ordered a red velvet pastry for me, and a cheesecake for him.
"So, you wanted suggestions on romance novels?" I asked, getting excited and leaning on the table.
"Yes." He said laughing.
"What's funny?"I asked, furrowing my brows.
He cleared his throat. "Nothing, sorry, yes I want to read a good romance book that you like."
"Okay, so the most popular one, is called Twisted love by Ana Huang. It's a 4 series book."
"Did you like it?"
"It was okay, but not one of my favourites." I shrugged.
"Then what is your favourite?" It was such a simple question, then why was I melting? Maybe it's because I'm delusional or maybe it's because that no guy has ever asked me about my likings in books.
It was always "oh nice ." "That's seems interesting." Etc etc.
An ever so gentle smile spread across my face, without my realisation. I think it's been months since I felt my smile coming out by itself, rather than force.
"Okay, so read The Right move by Liz Tomforde, I absolutely love it." I said with so much enthusiasm, I couldn't contain it. I loved that book so much.
"Alright, The right move, it is." He said as he slid his glasses up his nose and something like amusement passed in his eyes.
Our eyes never leaving each other's, the pastries abandoned, just like everything and everyone around us.
Something tells me, this isn't going to end here.
Me and him.
And I don't want it to, for some reason.